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5, It may as well not get such job at all for them as get one but uselessly.
I have only the vaguest idea what that means. :?
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6, This problem is equal to a two-edged sword which can be used good or bad equally.
A better metaphor would be: "The situation is a double-edged sword."
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7, The issue of whether nature or nurture decides the personality of child is, in my opinion, a social rather than a medical problem, for there is a large number of factors involved in this area.
I don't think problem is the right word there. Perhaps issue would fit better there. Say there are a large number of factors.
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8, I am always amazed to hear that because no evidence now can prove its accuracy.
Perhaps:
- I am always amazed to hear that, because there is no known evidence that proves the truth of that claim.
That looks good to me. :D
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9, If someone argues that what is discussed above lays too much stress on one’s external environment, then here we can see what a huge influence the situation exerts on one’s inner world.
That looks okay. (Absent any context, I can't be sure what the writer is talking about.)
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10, Education teaches our minds and experience changes our insides.
I would say that education is a type of experience. Do you mean to say that experience changes a person's outlook on things?
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11, Another negative impact, if smoking is still out of control, is its meaning towards the youth
You will have to rephrase that.
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12, In the event that the number of those young smokers----this generation who should have splendid life in the future----- increases, certainly the possibilities of danger to society would be larger.
Say which instead of who. Say greater instead of larger.
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13, It will be very little beneficial for foreigners communicating with local people, let alone the construction of friendship.
That's a little vague. Who is supposed to benefit--the foreigners or the local people?
8)