Is this sentence correct? Is there a better way of presenting ones pain when they lost their mother?
Memories of their mother were haunting them day after day and falling into their routines became a boon, they wish for.
Printable View
Is this sentence correct? Is there a better way of presenting ones pain when they lost their mother?
Memories of their mother were haunting them day after day and falling into their routines became a boon, they wish for.
I'm afraid it doesn't make any sense. It's OK right up to the comma as long as I understand it correctly: "They were haunted every day by memories of their mother and doing routine things was good for them because it took their minds off those memories" - that is how I understood it. Is that what you meant?Quote:
Originally Posted by mksarma
But "they wish for" doesn't make sense. It is in the present tense, which doesn't match the rest of the sentence. Should the end read "... falling into their routines became a boon which they wished for"? Meaning "they wished every day to fall into a routine so that they would not be haunted by memories".
I meant
So can I rewrite the sentence like this?Quote:
Originally Posted by emsr2d2
For many days, falling into their routines became a boon that they wished for, while they were haunted by the memories of their mother.
Can this be re-written in active voice or even in a more authentic way?
It is said that there are two types of sins: commission (doing something) and omission (not doing something). Here, you are somewhat guilty of the sin of commission - you over did something. I believe that what you are trying to write is something like this - "They were haunted by the memories of their mother and wanted to return to a normal routine". You could, with a bit of editing, drag the sentence out - "For many days, while being haunted by the memories of their mother, falling back into their routines became the boon that they wished for".Quote:
Originally Posted by mksarma