Lost in translation (it's not the movie!)

[HaraKiriBlade]

A sound so loud as though it is grabbing me by the shirt and yelling accusations that I am the murderer of its parents.

This is translated from Japanese, (well actually, Japanese --> Korean --> English, although nothing's lost by the extra step) and the sentence is a hyperbole for how loud alarm clock is by comparing the sound of an alarm clock to the maddening shouting of a man whose parents you (supposedly) murdered.
I know this sentence sounds awefully awkward, and I'd like suggestions that may more 'englishfy' (I wonder if this word is already taken) this sentence but at the same time retain the original literary device. Anything, would help me out a lot. Thanks!

[rewboss]

As sound as loud as that of a man grabbing me by the shirt and yelling accusations that I'd murdered his parents.

I'm assuming it's meant to be humorous.