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  #1  
Old 09-Mar-2006, 14:50
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Default a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

Hi there,

Here is a letter which I was given to check. I've spotted several mistakes (I've marked them with numbers) but I'm not sure whether I'm right and whether there are more. Could you please have a look at it ?

Dear Sara,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written for so long (1)because I (2)hadn't got time. (3)Whole last month I (4)was learning for my driving test which (5)I have on next Friday.

I'm writting to you because unfortunetly I brought one of your (6)pullover (7)with me to my home. I (8)must packed it with my clothes. It's (9)blue pullover with white sleeves and a white (10)writing on the back.

Could you check if you have my favourite blue pullover, maybe you (11)take it to Denmark. It was (12)very similar one but my haven't got white writing on the back. If you found it would you sent it to me and I will send you (13)yours pullover.

1. is "becasue" ok here ?
2. is the usage of past perfect necessary here ?
3. hmm... I don't think that "whole last month" is ok... shouldn't it be like "For the whole last month" ?
4. is past continuous necessary here ? is it ok ?
5. "I'm having" instead of "I have" ? Because it's planned ?
6. pulloverS ?
7. hmm... "to my home with me" ? any option doesn't sound right...
8. shouldn't there be "I must have packed..." ?
9. /A/ blue pullover
10. is it ok to say "a white writing on the back" ?
11. you TOOK it... or you have taken - which one ?
12. /A/ very similiar one
13. your

Please, comment on the mistakes I've noticed. Tell me if any of them are ok or not and why. And the last thing, are there any more mistakes in this text ?

Thank you so much!
  #2  
Old 10-Mar-2006, 17:58
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

anyone ? please ?
  #3  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 08:09
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

(1)because I (2)hadn't got time- but I haven't had time
(3)Whole last month- all last month
I (4)was learning for my driving test - practising (if you were actually driving)
(5)I have on next Friday. I have next Friday
unfortunetly I brought one of your (6)pullover (7)with me to my home. I accidentally brought on of your pullovers back with me
(8)must packed it- must have packed
it's (9)blue pullover - a
and a white (10)writing and white writing
maybe you (11)take - took
It was (12)very similar one but my haven't got white writing - It was very similar, but mine doesn't have the writing on the back
I will send you (13)yours pullover.- I will send yours
  #4  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 10:34
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

no explanations to my questions :( ?

thanks anyway,
  #5  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 15:14
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_mail
Hi there,
Here is a letter which I was given to check. I've spotted several mistakes (I've marked them with numbers) but I'm not sure whether I'm right and whether there are more. Could you please have a look at it ?
Dear Sara,
How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written for so long (1)because I (2)hadn't got time. (3)Whole last month I (4)was learning for my driving test which (5)I have on next Friday.
I'm writting to you because unfortunetly I brought one of your (6)pullover (7)with me to my home. I (8)must packed it with my clothes. It's (9)blue pullover with white sleeves and a white (10)writing on the back.
Could you check if you have my favourite blue pullover, maybe you (11)take it to Denmark. It was (12)very similar one but my haven't got white writing on the back. If you found it would you sent it to me and I will send you (13)yours pullover.
1. is "becasue" ok here ?
2. is the usage of past perfect necessary here ?
3. hmm... I don't think that "whole last month" is ok... shouldn't it be like "For the whole last month" ?
4. is past continuous necessary here ? is it ok ?
5. "I'm having" instead of "I have" ? Because it's planned ?
6. pulloverS ?
7. hmm... "to my home with me" ? any option doesn't sound right...
8. shouldn't there be "I must have packed..." ?
9. /A/ blue pullover
10. is it ok to say "a white writing on the back" ?
11. you TOOK it... or you have taken - which one ?
12. /A/ very similiar one
13. your
Please, comment on the mistakes I've noticed. Tell me if any of them are ok or not and why. And the last thing, are there any more mistakes in this text ?
Thank you so much!
1. "Because" is not OK because it is tied to "I'm sorry" not the subclause "(that) I haven't written for so long". You should say "I'm sorry I haven't written for so long BUT I haven't had time."

2. The past perfect tense (of "to get") is not just unnecessary here, but wrong. The tense should agree with the present perfect in "I haven't written for so long". The sentence is a paraphrasing of the two sentences "I'm sorry. I haven't written for so long because I haven't had time."

3. It should be "For the whole OF the last month". You can say "For the whole month", or "For the last whole month", but not "For the whole last month". The strength of the adjective "whole" is greater than the strength of the adjective "last". You need to be very fluent to get such distinctions correct, so it is much safer to use "the whole of".

4. "I was learning for my driving test" sounds unnatural like this in the intransitive form. It is better to use "studying". You are correct - it should be in the present perfect progressive tense - "I've been studying for my driving test."

5. No. "I have" is correct. But there is no "on" in the sentence.

6. and 7. "I brought one of your pullovers home with me." You have almost misspelt "writing" and "unfortunately".

8. Yes. "Must" is an auxiliary for "have" here. You can't omit the "have".

9. Correct.

10. No. It must "with white writing on the back."

11. "You took it" is correct. It is in the past - you are not still taking it, so the present perfect tense is incorrect. You also need separate sentences and to make them questions:

"Could you check if you have my favourite blue pullover? Maybe you took it to Denmark?"

12. "It was a very similar one, but MINE HASN'T GOT white writing on the back." Or you could write "...but MY PULLOVER HASN'T GOT white writing on the back." The verb is in the third person, not the first person.

"If you FIND it", not "If you found it."

13. Correct. It should be "your pullover", or simply "yours" without the word "pullover".
  #6  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 18:19
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

geee thanks a lot !!!
  #7  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 21:52
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

Hmm, I was wondering if you could take a look at the following text as well :

Hi Tom,
Three days ago I arrived to London. I stay in the Grand Hotel, it isn’t so expensive hotel but very comfortable. Food is very tasty, especially dinners.
Tomorrow I want to visit the Buckingham Palace.
I hope that you have also good time.
See you soon
XYZ

and

Dear Sir/Madame,

I am writing to you because I have reserved by the Internet and next I have paid for Course: ‘English in Two Weeks. Level Pre-intermediate” in your school in Exeter. I have not got any answer from you until now, so that I am worried.

I have called to you three times but nobody answered and I have left messages on your answerphone. I am really bad surprise about this situation because now I cannot plan my journey. I ask you to confirm my participation on your course or refund my money.

I hope that this situation will be quickly solve, because I have heard only good opinions about your school.
Thank you for your assistance.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
XYZ

best wishes, thanks !
  #8  
Old 11-Mar-2006, 23:13
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_mail
Hi Tom,
Three days ago I arrived to London. I stay in the Grand Hotel, it isn’t so expensive hotel but very comfortable. Food is very tasty, especially dinners.
Tomorrow I want to visit the Buckingham Palace.
I hope that you have also good time.
See you soon
XYZ
Hi Tom,
Three days ago I arrived in London. I am staying at the Grand Hotel. It isn’t too expensive a hotel but it's very comfortable. The food is very tasty, especially the dinners.
Tomorrow I want to visit Buckingham Palace.
I hope you are having a good time as well.
See you soon.
XYZ

Dear Sir/Madame,
I am writing to you because I reserved through the Internet, and have paid for, a place on the course: ‘English in Two Weeks. Level Pre-intermediate” at your school in Exeter. I have not got any answer from you yet, and so I am starting to become worried.
I have called you three times without answer and have left messages on your answerphone. I am quite concerned about this situation because now I cannot plan my journey. I would ask you to confirm my participation on your course or refund my money.
I hope that this situation can be resolved quickly, because I have heard nothing but good reports about your school.
Thank you for your assistance.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
XYZ

Last edited by Coffa; 11-Mar-2006 at 23:22. Reason: Incorrect formatting
  #9  
Old 12-Mar-2006, 08:13
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

Lots of thx :)

Coming back to the first letter for a while... there was a sentence saying "I have a driving test next Friday" and you said that "have is ok here". Could you tell me why "having" would be wrong ? I mean, I always find in grammar books that when something is planned/scheduled then the pres. continuous is perfect...
  #10  
Old 22-Mar-2006, 21:52
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Default Re: a short letter, could you have a look at it ?

can someone tell me why "I have a driving test next Friday" is ok and why "I'm having a driving test next Friday" is not ? I don't get it at all. I've come acorss plenty of examples like... "Jane is taking her exams in June" and so on... help!
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