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Old 10-Apr-2006, 13:17
HaraKiriBlade's Avatar
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Default Getting rid of repetition in a sentence

Quote:
"Well, for now I won't question as to what it was. You guys are in no state for such question."
That's my translation from an anime.
I just want to make sure three things:

1. Does my sentence make sense? If I were to say it to two friends of mine whose mom just got murdered and I'm curious about something quite out of place, say about the weapon the murderer used, would the sentence fit in such situation? So the sentence implies that although I'm curious about other things I'm keeping myself from asking because I know they are going through difficult times and it's probably not the best time and place to do so. If it gives off different meanings than intended, let me know.

2. I notice the word 'question' is repeated and when I read it it doesn't sound good. Any suggestions to fix it?

3. Even the quoted sentence is revised once. I originally wrote "Well, for now I won't pry as to what it was. You guys are in no state to be asked of such question". Does this one make sense also, or is this grammatically wrong?

If you read this far, thank you very much for reading my wordy questions. Any input on this would be greatly appreciated.
  #2  
Old 10-Apr-2006, 15:52
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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Default Re: Getting rid of repetition in a sentence

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaraKiriBlade
That's my translation from an anime.
I just want to make sure three things:
1. Does my sentence make sense? If I were to say it to two friends of mine whose mom just got murdered and I'm curious about something quite out of place, say about the weapon the murderer used, would the sentence fit in such situation? So the sentence implies that although I'm curious about other things I'm keeping myself from asking because I know they are going through difficult times and it's probably not the best time and place to do so. If it gives off different meanings than intended, let me know.
2. I notice the word 'question' is repeated and when I read it it doesn't sound good. Any suggestions to fix it?
3. Even the quoted sentence is revised once. I originally wrote "Well, for now I won't pry as to what it was. You guys are in no state to be asked of such question". Does this one make sense also, or is this grammatically wrong?
If you read this far, thank you very much for reading my wordy questions. Any input on this would be greatly appreciated.
Well, there are many ways that would work well enough. If the priority is to be understood, you have achieved that. If the priority is to be most correct in both sensitivity and grammar, then the following words are what I would personally choose:

"Most naturally, I have some questions, but now is not the most appropriate time to delve into them."
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