death penalty - crime

[Lenka]

Could you correct it for me, please?


Death penalty

In my opinion, this sort of punishment, the death penalty or capital punishment, should be prohibited all over the world. This punishment is too strict for everyone, even the worst criminal, who killed too many people or committed any other serious crime.
We should hope that those who commit crimes will learn to live politely and well after their imprisonment. Nonetheless, many people share sceptical opinion on this topic. For example, even I don’t believe that such sort of “reformation“ (being in terrible jails) can really achieve its target, make the criminals think different. However, some of them, perhaps, really realize the meaning of life not until in the prison.
If we look at this much discussed topic, whether to ban or not to ban this kind of punishment, from the other side, we can see that not a single act of killing criminals is wrong – sometimes also innocent people may be considered criminals, may be accused of committing some crime. Is it fair? Of course it isn’t; I belive this simple question could answer even just a little child. We can never be sure that an arrested person is really guilty! There has been many cases of people who had to stay a long time in prison because noone believed they were really innocent. It must be a very horrific experience in their lives and it must affect them forever, I think. It is a huge injustice to arrest such people, what even if they were sentenced to death penatly? We could never take their lives back, then.

[twostep]

Originally Posted by Lenka

Could you correct it for me, please?


Death penalty

In my opinion, this sort of punishment, the death penalty or capital punishment, should be prohibited all over the world. This punishment is too strict for everyone, even the worst criminal, who killed too (I would leave it out - is one killing or ten killings the line for too many?) many people or committed any other serious crime.
We should hope that those who commit crimes will learn to live politely and well (please check polite - does prison teach good manners? why would a prisoner learn to live well? Is he financially and/or socially better off?) after their imprisonment. Nonetheless, many people share sceptical opinions (plural) on this topic. For example, even I don’t believe that such sort of “reformation“ (being in terrible (why do you call jails terrible?) jails) can really achieve its target, make the (delete) criminals think different. However, some of them, perhaps, really realize (use different words - repeat of base) the meaning of life not until in the (delete) prison.
If we look at this much discussed topic, whether to ban or not to ban this kind of punishment, from the other side, we can see that not a single act of killing criminals is wrong (I cannot follow your logic - killing criminals is right even if innocent people may be considered criminals) – sometimes also innocent people may be considered criminals, may be accused of committing some crime. Is it fair? Of course it isn’t; I belive this simple question could answer even just a little child (could be answered by a child or a child could answer). We can never be sure that an arrested person is really guilty! There has (have - plural) been many cases of people who had to stay a long time in prison because noone believed they were really innocent. It must be a very horrific experience in their lives and it must affect them forever, I think. It is a huge injustice to arrest such people, what even (if they were even ... may be waht you are trying to say) if they were sentenced to death penatly? We could never take (take a way - give back) their lives back, then.

Where do you find these homework assignment? Have you considered to shorten your sentences? They are very long and elaborate. Read your essays aloud. You will hear what I mean.

[Lenka]

Oh... I've just written reply on your answer and I have deleted it by touching one key!!! I don't know which it was, but I hate it now...
I am not going to write it again... just shortly:

I got the homework assignment at school (we learn a maturita (a kind of exam) topics and one of them contains "crime")

Thank you for your advice, but I am not going to shorten it. Perhaps the next time when I write something.


And I still have some questions on your correction....


1) I rewrote this:

However, some of them, perhaps, really realize (use different words - repeat of base) the meaning of life not until in the (delete) prison.

to:
However, some of them, perhaps, realize the meaning of life not until in prison, actually.

does it sound the same or does "actually" have different meaning?

2)

If we look at this much discussed topic, whether to ban or not to ban this kind of punishment, from the other side, we can see that not a single act of killing criminals is wrong (I cannot follow your logic - killing criminals is right even if innocent people may be considered criminals) – sometimes also innocent people may be considered criminals, may be accused of committing some crime.

I don't understand you... I said "wrong" (that killing criminals is wrong), not "right"...
I am just not sure I wrote it (what I mean) grammatically right. I mean that if criminals are killed for their actions, it is bad. If I wrote "killing criminals" did it mean "criminals who kill people"? Should I write "killing of criminals", then? Do you see what I mean?

[Tdol]

However, some of them, perhaps, realize the meaning of life not until in prison, actually.

However, some of them, perhaps, do not actually realize the meaning of life until in prison.
(or- until actually in prison)