Please Mark My LPI Essay (Thanks much!)

[Adios]

Topic: What's useful about the Internet and what's frustrating about the Internet? Give examples.


As the proverb goes: “Everything has two sides.” Indeed, the Internet is no exception. When people talk about the Internet, everything from both negative and positive sides comes to your mind naturally. In my opinion, the advantage of using the Internet is all about its convenience; on the other hand, its security problem, also, always makes people feel frustrated.

The largest useful thing coming out from the Internet is its convenience for sure. In some cases, “convenience” means “anywhere”. Nowadays, with the appearance of the Internet, people can easily contact with each other even though they are not in the same country. And also, some on-line services, such as online-course learning, on-line shops, and any other facility are operated due to it. On the other hand, “convenience” also means that you can get any information you want from the Internet, which is already proved to be true. As we all know, using some powerful search tools, such as Google and Yahoo, makes our searches fast and effective. All in all, the Internet is one thing that makes you search anything from anywhere.

Not only does the Internet transform our lives in a wonderful way, but it also has something that you will definitely feel hard to handle: its security problem. Firstly, the security problem occurs among various on-line deals. As is known to all, hacking is the main factor. It’s not uncommon to hear from some news that a hacker attacked a on-line bank one day and “robed” a large amount of assets by using his or her computer skills. However, an on-line organization being attacked does not usually happen. The most common frustrated thing happens on people is that some amounts of money in their saving cards are gone with no reasons, which is always a problem in on-line paying. Another “undirected” security problem is that the rights of artists’ or software creators’ are not protected very well, because people can easily “share” files with millions of computer users at the same time, which may lead the companies or persons suffer a terrible loss. In short, the drawback of using the Internet, like its advantages, is also unlimited; there are also lots of potential problems should be considered in the future.

Every coin has two sides; the Internet is also a double-edged sword. In summary, when people are enjoying using the Internet, they should also take care of what they are doing since too many things can go wrong, even something they cannot expect. However, the appearance of the Internet is definitely a huge “jump” in modern technology world, and it definitely changes our ways of living.


All replies will be definitely appreciated! I love you all!

[Tdol]

Does the essay have a word limit? I think you could expand and develop the points a bit better. For instance, the security issues you mention are really two separate things- copryright abuse and hackers, etc. Why don't you separate these into two paragraphs and make them two points?

[Adios]

Its limit is 400 words. But I don't know how to narrow everything down, becuase I am not able to explain or give argumetation with 2 or 3 sentences. If I do that, everything seems messy, and paragraphes will not be engough to support my ideas, which is always my problem. What would you recommend for that? Thanks!

[Tdol]

OK:
When people talk about the Internet, everything from both negative and positive sides comes to your mind naturally.
I think this sentence could be cut out completely, which would allow more space for developing your argument. The idea of something having good and bad sides does not in itself need much development. You could state briefly that, like most things, there are pros and cons, then move straight into the details of those.

[Adios]

Thanks, this really gives me some ideas

[Tdol]

Here's another:
The largest useful thing coming out from the Internet is its convenience for sure. In some cases, “convenience” means “anywhere”.
You could join these together into something shorter:
The internet's convenience, its availability anywhere, is its most useful feature.