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Old 07-Dec-2003, 02:36
Helped Wanted
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Default Please advise, teachers ! Thanks

THe topic is about "Life in the future"

Below is a conclusion of an essay:

What will be, will be. At this very moment, it is just for us to study hard and try our best at every minute, for this is the stepping stone for fulfilling my dream.

Any better way of expressing it? Please help amend it to sound smoother, teachers! Thanks very much! :"(
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Old 07-Dec-2003, 13:17
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What will be, will be. At this point, it is up to us to study hard and try our best every minute, for this is the stepping stone for fulfilling our dreams.

Any good? I'm sure Ron will drop by soon and do better- it's more his bag.
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Old 07-Dec-2003, 14:41
Helped Wanted
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Thanks for the advise, teacher tdol! ^o^
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Old 07-Dec-2003, 15:20
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Default Re: Please advise, teachers ! Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helped Wanted
What will be, will be. At this very moment, it is just for us to study hard and try our best at every minute, for this is the stepping stone for fulfilling my dream.
It is hard to be certain how appropriate the ending is without knowing what came before. Nevertheless, I have a couple of suggestions. For one, you need to be consistent with your pronouns. Also, as lamentably popular "try our best" is, I would prefer do there. (As Yoda said, "Don't try. Do.") Perhaps:
  • What will be, will be. At this time, it is up to us to study hard and do our best at every minute, for this is a stepping stone towards fulfilling our dreams.
Or:
  • What will be, will be. At this time, it is up to me to study hard and do my best at every minute, for this is a stepping stone towards fulfilling my dreams.

What do you think?

:)
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