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Old 14-Jun-2006, 16:46
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Default Need advice for grammatical mistakes, thanks teachers.

Dear teachers,
Is the following passage grammatically correct? Please help check, thanks soooooo much.

Suddenly everything is a milestone:
The last time we are gathered here together in this hall,
The last time I wear this beautiful uniform,
The last day of term
Primary school life is drawing to a close

It feels very strange.
Where did the time go?

Wasn't it just last week that we arrived at MCS?
In our brand-new, slightly oversize uniform,
Nervously eyeing this enormous, unfamiliar red brick building.
Where is that innocent, baby faced girl that came here in the year 2000?

Everything I do from now on is for the last time.
And my classmates are feeling rather sad.

For six years I had experienced laugh, cry, success, failure,
expectation, disappointment, which are unforgettable.
I started making real progress towards my goal of gaining admission to
S1 at Maryknoll Secondary School.

I learnt to listen, to read, to write, to do mathematics, to paint, to
knit, to swim, to share, to be grateful and not to
throw paper darts or sleep in class.

In spite of everything it has all been worthwhile, and I shall miss it.

I shall miss the joking and the naughtiness of my classmates, the
ringing of the bells and of course all my teachers.
And one thing I am not going to miss is the exams!
However, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.


On behalf of my graduating classmates, I would like to say thank you
to all my teachers I have made a smooth transition from Primary one to
my last day in Primary Six.
And although it is sad in this last day to see the end of my primary education
I must remind myself a lot over the next few weeks that
Every end is a new beginning!
  #2  
Old 15-Jun-2006, 04:58
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Default Re: Need advice for grammatical mistakes, thanks teachers.

oversize- I'd use oversized
experienced laugh, cry,- it should be laughter. I would use something like laughter and tears
In spite of everything it has all been worthwhile- Everything immediately before this seems fairly positive, so the contrast doesn't work for me
in this last day- on
  #3  
Old 15-Jun-2006, 08:48
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Default Re: Need advice for grammatical mistakes, thanks teachers.

Thank you soooo much for taking time to check the vote of thanks for me, teacher tdol! All the best, itshelpwanted
  #4  
Old 16-Jun-2006, 04:25
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Default Re: Need advice for grammatical mistakes, thanks teachers.

You're welcome.
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