Please check this text!
First of all I would like to know if the word 'Crinkly' can be used in the following sentence:
'her thick, crinkly long black hair heavily falls down to her shoulders...'
This following text was written by my partners and me and we would like to know if it is OK and has coherence. We need a native english who reads it:
'My dormitory room, on the second floor of Bienville Hall, is spacious and glamorous. The light yellow walls and spotless white ceiling make the room seem bright and thus even bigger than it is. As you walk into the room, you step on a large soft downy carpet, which makes the room feel even warmer and on it, a designer King size bed. Two huge windows over the bed are highlighted by thin translucent white drapes. Against the wall on your left, behind the head of the bed, there is a large bookcase with a few family pictures and books on it. Between the bookcase and the wall opposite the bed is a period pink wooden desk. It has a pink wooden chair that makes the room seem even more comfortable.Under the desk is a woven wastepaper basket which goes with the rest of the furniture. The wall above the bookcase and desk is decorated with a spectacular Picasso painting. On the right hand side of the room is a door that takes you to a spacious dressing-room were clothes, shoes, hats, tennis rackets and boxes are carefully placed. Every time I walk out of the door, I think, “Now I know what is like to live as a Hollywood star”.
please read it and give your opinion!!! =)
Re: Please check this text!
1 Why not? It's not a usual adjective for hair as 'crinkly' carries an idea of texture, so 'curly', etc, would be more common.
large soft downy carpet- how about some punctuation?
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