Could I have an opinion on my first essay homework

[PHRISMA]

My Favorite Place

My favorite place at home is the small porch in the back of my house. It is only 3 by 12 feet, but big enough to hold family and friends in unending and delicious evenings of chat. A big white garden chair in the corner makes the place smaller; however, it is the corner where I find myself. The magical corner surrenders me with a fresh breeze, multiples songs of birds, strong scents of Marigold and the crimson flowers.
A small coffee table in the center holds my water paintings, newspaper, phone and dreams in a necessary mess. An old wood cage that was home for my bird is hanging from the roof, in the opposite corner. A candle in the nook lights the darkest nights.

[Tdol]

multiples songs- multiple songs

I liked the use of 'where I find myself' as it is ambiguous until the next sentence is read. I also liked the includion of 'dreams' in the list, though wonder whether an alternative adjective to 'necessary' might work.

[PHRISMA]

I really appreciate your opinion on my writing, I will apply your sugestion on my work. I hope to have your advice in a future jobs.

[Tdol]

You're welcome.

[dihen]

Originally Posted by tdol

multiples songs- multiple songs
I liked the use of 'where I find myself' as it is ambiguous until the next sentence is read. I also liked the includion of 'dreams' in the list, though wonder whether an alternative adjective to 'necessary' might work.

Why did you use past tense verbs? It makes it harder for me to understand because it sounds as if you don't like the use of 'where I find myself' anymore.

[Tdol]

It is fine to use the past tense- it refers to the time of reading.

[dihen]

Originally Posted by tdol

It is fine to use the past tense- it refers to the time of reading.

Is it correct to use the present tense?

[Tdol]

The present tense is fine- it really depends, to us, on how we're feeling at the time of writing.