could you please check this informal note to a friend? Thanks in advance!

[hello_there]

I accept suggestions

Hi Chris,

This is just a quick note to tell you all about the organisation I chose. I made the terrible mistake of going with Windemere Wilside. You won`t believe how awful my holiday was. It was an absolute nightmare. It didn’t match up to all the things they promised in the ad. First, as the Wilside Hall was full, they put me in a dusty youth hostel. Facilities in that hostel were very poor- a pack of cards and a table tennis. Then, the so-called “joys of group work” activities were a mess. I’ve spent three days in the rain during a camping expedition! Believe it or not, I’ve paid 380 pounds for this lame holiday.

If you need more info just let me know, ok? Anyway good luck with all and let me know what happens.


Love,
Tina

[RonBee]

I would change only two things. I would say:

Facilities in that hostel were very poor--a pack of cards and a ping pong table.

Also:

Believe it or not, I paid 380 pounds for this lame holiday.

What do you think?



~R