replace word [help]

[endeavor6636]

All in all, there is no other benefit in possessing a cell phone beside communication. I think scientists should endeavor to find a way to mitigate the insidiousness that brought to human. Otherwise we should stop using cell phone so as to abate the percentage of getting serious disease.



hi, is there any other good word to replace the words " mitigate" and "abate"in this paragraph?

[MrPedantic]

Hello E6636

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "mitigate the insidiousness"; but for "abate the percentage", you could say "lessen the likelihood".

I've underlined some other parts of the text that need attention: if you post your amendments, I'll check that they're ok.

"All in all, there is no other benefit in possessing a cell phone beside communication. I think scientists should endeavor to find a way to mitigate the insidiousness that brought to human. Otherwise we should stop using cell phone so as to abate the percentage of getting serious disease."


All the best,

MrP

[endeavor6636]

Along with the rapid development of technological industries, many ingenious products have emerged in tenolochgical market. However, many of these products have brought us many disadvantages instead of convenience.
There have been many articles become prevalent in the world about the insidiousness of using cell phone. For instance, long tern use of cell phone may cause brain tumor, sexual faculty debilitation, such as impotence, etc. few month ago, scientist began an experiment as a result to ensure whether cell phone is actually affect human body, especially the function of DNA. Hence, they used mice and chicken egg as specimen at the experiment. They polarize the rats into two groups. They exposed group 1 mice to cell phone radiation while unexposed the other for 9-12 month. At the end, they found that the group that exposed to radiation had a dramatically change in DNA compare with the other group. Since human DNA is analogous to animals’, thus scientists concluded that cell phone radiation would do a severe impact on human DNA mutation. In other words, increase the risk of brain tumor or fetus inside the stomach.
All in all, there is no other benefit in possessing a cell phone beside communication. I think scientists should endeavor to find a way to mitigate the insidiousness that brought to human. Otherwise we should stop using cell phone so as to abate the percentage of getting serious disease.

This is the original essay i wrote. can you help me correct it also, it's a 25min time limit essay.
- about the word insidiouness, i was talking about the impact of cell phone to human.

insidious is simliar to "harm" right? i want to convery it into noun so i put insidiousness.
it's there any other word i can use to replace this word usch as other big word ?

[MrPedantic]

Hello E.

I think in that context, I would be more inclined to say "...to reduce the amount of harm they do to human beings..."

Did you want me to tell you which other parts need fixing?

MrP

[endeavor6636]

yea please, this would be nice thank you

[MrPedantic]

Hello E

Okay, I'll underline the parts that need more attention -- try to spot the problem and rephrase it in each case, and I'll let you know whether you're right or not!

Along with the rapid development of technological industries, many ingenious products have emerged in tenolochgical market. However, many of these products have brought us many disadvantages instead of convenience.

There have been many articles become prevalent in the world about the insidiousness of using cell phone. For instance, long tern use of cell phone may cause brain tumor, sexual faculty debilitation, such as impotence, etc. few month ago, scientist began an experiment as a result to ensure whether cell phone is actually affect human body, especially the function of DNA. Hence, they used mice and chicken egg as specimen at the experiment. They polarize the rats into two groups. They exposed group 1 mice to cell phone radiation while unexposed the other for 9-12 month. At the end, they found that the group that exposed to radiation had a dramatically change in DNA compare with the other group. Since human DNA is analogous to animals’, thus scientists concluded that cell phone radiation would do a severe impact on human DNA mutation. In other words, increase the risk of brain tumor or fetus inside the stomach.
All in all, there is no other benefit in possessing a cell phone beside communication. I think scientists should endeavor to find a way to mitigate the insidiousness that brought to human. Otherwise we should stop using cell phone so as to abate the percentage of getting serious disease.

(Don't be discouraged -- many of the mistakes are very small things, such as singular instead of plural nouns, etc.)

All the best,

MrP