Kindly correct the letter

Kindly correct the letter

Ladies or Gentlemen,

This to confirm the arrival and message to be passed to XY Airlines Office at Name of the place for Name of the passenger, holder of Country name, is traveling under my Dependent Visa, a copy of which is enclosed here.

I am enclosing a copy of the Visa with this letter. Please inform the staff at your XY Airline office at Place in Place of her booking details, which are outlined below so that she will be given ECNR status without problem. I will submit the original Dependent Visa upon her arrival at her destination.

Booking details are:

Name: XXXX
Date of arrival - XXXX
Flight - XY
PNR - XXXXX
VISA No. - XXXXXX

Here's my try:

Please arrange for ECNR clearance for the passenger listed below:

Name: John A. Smith
Flight: #210 - Arriving New York City on January 1, 2010 at 8:05 AM
PNR: XXX
Visa #:

Once this has been acknowledged, please confirm with me directly by telephone at 312.123.1234.

Thank you for your prompt response to this request.