Can you help me correct this

[allp57]

Last holidays Jan and I went to Ireland. The voyage from Holyhead made Jan sick (she hates water) but we arrived at Dublin at ten o’clock. Next we took a train to Waterford, where we stayed one day. Subsequently we travelled in bus to Cork. It’s a beautiful place! Next day we drove a rented car to Tralee and Limerick, and after lunch, when we were going to Galway the car was broken, so we must continue hitch–hiked. I wanted to know Aran Islands, so I made an excursion there on ferry. Meantime Jan preferred to visit the most interesting places in Galway. After that we flighted to Belfast and stayed there for five days, although one of then we visited Donegal on a rented car again, but this time it was a NEW car! Finally we got home by plane.

[Tdol]

arrived at Dublin- in
Subsequently- as the text is fairly informal, why not use 'after that'
car was broken- broke down
Aran Islands- the
flighted - flew

[sandhya.sha]

Last holidays Jan and I went to Ireland. The voyage from Holyhead made Jan sick (she hates water) but we arrived at Dublin at ten o’clock. Next we took a train to Waterford, where we stayed one day. Subsequently we travelled in bus to Cork. It’s a beautiful place! Next day we drove a rented car to Tralee and Limerick, and after lunch, when we were going to Galway the car was broken, so we must continue hitch–hiked. I wanted to know Aran Islands, so I made an excursion there on ferry. Meantime Jan preferred to visit the most interesting places in Galway. After that we flighted to Belfast and stayed there for five days, although one of then we visited Donegal on a rented car again, but this time it was a NEW car! Finally we got home by plane.

During the last holidays, Jan and I went to Ireland. The voyage from Holyhead made Jan sick (she hates water). butHowever, we arrived at in Dublin at ten o’clock. Next Then, we took a train to Waterford, where we stayed for one day. Subsequently, we travelled in by bus to Cork. It’s a beautiful place! Next day we drove a rented car to Tralee and Limerick, and after lunch, when we were going to Galway the car was broken broke down. So we must had to continue hitch–hiked. I wanted to know explore theAran Islands, so I made an excursion there on ferry. Meantime Jan preferred to visit the most interesting places in Galway. After that we flighted flew to Belfast and stayed there for five days. although During one of then those days we visited Donegal on a rented car again, but this time it was a NEW car! Finally we got home by plane.

[sandhya.sha]

During the last holidays, Jan and I went to Ireland. The voyage from Holyhead made Jan sick (she hates water). butHowever, we arrived at in Dublin at ten o’clock. Next Then, we took a train to Waterford, where we stayed for one day. Subsequently, we travelled in by bus to Cork. It’s a beautiful place! Next day we drove a rented car to Tralee and Limerick, and after lunch, when we were going to Galway the car was broken broke down. So we must had to continue hitch–hiked. I wanted to know explore theAran Islands, so I made an excursion there on ferry. Meantime Jan preferred to visit the most interesting places in Galway. After that we flighted flew to Belfast and stayed there for five days. although During one of then those days we visited Donegal on a rented car again, but this time it was a NEW car! Finally we got home by plane.

I am sorry, my editing didn't appear properly. I wanted you to see the changes I made. I had deleted some words and added some other words. Plz use the following passage:
During the last holidays, Jan and I went to Ireland. The voyage from Holyhead made Jan sick (she hates water). However, we arrived in Dublin at ten o’clock. Then, we took a train to Waterford, where we stayed for one day. Subsequently, we travelled by bus to Cork. It’s a beautiful place! Next day we drove a rented car to Tralee and Limerick, and after lunch, when we were going to Galway the car broke down. So we had to continue hitch–hiked. I wanted to explore theAran Islands, so I made an excursion by ferry. Meantime Jan preferred to visit the most interesting places in Galway. After that we flew to Belfast and stayed there for five days. During one of those days we visited Donegal on a rented car again, but this time it was a NEW car! Finally we got home by plane