Can you make your suggestion to this essay, thanks!

[thinley]

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reason to support your answer.

Environment and wild life extinction is the ongoing problem of the 21st century. Increasing deforestation and increasing building has causes the major environment changes. The global warming is the alarming threat to all of us. However, most of the people although with or without knowing this problems, continue to cut forest areas and build high building.

In my country, for the past few years in the name of modernisation, the government has started building many high tech houses and industry. Many forest areas were razed to ground. As a result, the earlier clean air of the places is now polluted with smoke produced by the industries and the vehicles. At the same time, there is also increasing number of people suffering from lungs and eyes infection. The dumping of tocsin wastes of industries in various places are now spoiling the fertility of the land and also the ground water. In addition, unheard in our history, today we have increasing rate of different epidemic diseases.

The increasing number of building and industry has also affected the thought and culture of the country. The cutthroat competition in job market and desire to earn money has devalued the thinking of people. People today become more selfish and narrowed their thinking power.

Therefore, I think we do not need to develop more housing and industries. Rather it is now time for us to preserve the left land for greenery not only for us but also for the future generations.

[Mariner]

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reason to support your answer.

Environment-related issues/ Environmental pollution and wild life extinction are the ongoing problems of the 21st century. Increasing deforestation and building have caused a major environmental change. Global warming is an alarming threat to all of us. However, most of the people, whether they are aware of the problem or not, continue to cut forest areas, constructing tall buildings in their place.

In my country, for the past few years and in the name of modernisation, the government has started building many high tech houses and industrial zones. Many forest areas were razed to the ground. As a result, the earlier clean air of the places is now polluted with smoke produced by the industries and the vehicles. At the same time, there is also an increasing number of people suffering from lung and eye infections. The dumping of industrial toxic waste in various places affects the fertility of the land and also the ground water. In addition, the number of epidemic infections is increasing at a rate much higher than in the past. [I know, the phrase is changed significantly, but it just made more sense like this, at least to me]

The increasing number of buildings and industrial zones [Strictly speaking, "industry" is not wrong, but it just sounds more natural when you have two count nouns together, rather than one count and one uncount] has also affected the thought and the culture of the country. The cutthroat competition in the job market and the desire to earn money has devalued people's thinking. People today become more selfish and narrow-minded. [Not sure if you meant that, but "thinking power" sounds a bit strange in this context]

Therefore, I think we do not need to develop more housing and industrial zones. Rather, it is now time for us to preserve the remaining vegetation of the land, not only for us but also for the future generations.

Kind regards

[thinley]

Hello Mariner

Thank you so much for your review and suggestions. I often make mistakes with the articles and tenses. Next time I will be more careful. Please do posting your suggestions on my future posts.

Best wishes

Thinley