commas

[Hanka]

Hi,

could you please check the use of highlighted commas in the following sentences and explain the mistakes you find:

1) This phase of the disciplinary procedure shall be managed by the employee’s department manager, who will also take the relevant steps, but has to consult this matter with the personnel department at first and notify his supervisor of the possibility of the employee’s dismissal.
2) In case of the employee’s dismissal, copies of all minutes, and documents concerning the case must be placed on the employee’s personnel file in the personnel department. (here the word "copies" does not refer to "documents")
3) The grounds for notice include intentional damage to or theft of the tangible assets of the company or customers, or the property of company employees (theft of money and the like).
4) The grounds for notice include falsification of company documents with an intention to make profit in money or in kind, or with an express intention of misrepresentation.

Thank you sooooooooooo much.

Hanka

[rewboss]

1) The second comma implies that the relative clause ends after "steps", but in fact it continues to the end of the sentence; I had to backtrack to make sense of the sentence and you should never force a reader to do that. Removing the comma makes the sentence grammatically correct but not much easier to read. I would consider breaking the sentence up into two sentences.

2) The sentence would be easier to understand if you reverse the order of the subjects: "...documents and copies of all minutes concerning..." This makes the comma unnecessary, thus avoiding the problem.

3) and 4) These are examples of the Oxford Comma, which I usually avoid. In both these cases, however, you have another "or" very close by, so it's probably better to use the Oxford Comma to make the sentences easier to read.