Need help in correct punctuation

[crussell]

I am proofreading a document and this is how they have the following sentence punctuated -- is this correct?

All experts and leaders in South Carolina will agree that as we move from the heavy manufacturing, agricultural and textile mill economy, to the knowledge based revolution driven industries; today's graduates are our lifeline to the future and will make or break us in this global world.

Thanks.

[MikeNewYork]

Originally Posted by crussell

I am proofreading a document and this is how they have the following sentence punctuated -- is this correct?

All experts and leaders in South Carolina will agree that as we move from the heavy manufacturing, agricultural and textile mill economy, to the knowledge based revolution driven industries; today's graduates are our lifeline to the future and will make or break us in this global world.

Thanks.

IMO, no.

All experts and leaders in South Carolina will agree that as we move from the heavy manufacturing, agricultural, and textile mill economy, to the knowledge based revolution driven industries, today's graduates are our lifeline to the future, and will make or break us in this global world.

It's not a great sentence even when punctuated correctly.

[crussell]

Thank you - it did not make sense with the ; because it was a continuation of the sentence, not two separate sentences.

[MikeNewYork]

Originally Posted by crussell

Thank you - it did not make sense with the ; because it was a continuation of the sentence, not two separate sentences.

Excellent! Your instincts were correct.

[mykwyner]

I would hyphenate knowledge-based and revolution-driven for clarity.