can somone please edit this short reflection

please check for grammar, past/present tense, etc and rephrase any stuff if necessary
thx!


In the movie, Mr Holland’s Opus, there are many issues that relate to

human growth and development. One of the many that are worth

mentioning is the relationship between Holland and his students. In the

beginning, Holland’s goal was to write one memorable piece of music that

would be in the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching

music at a high school hoping it would pay off the bills. He is frustrated at

first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland didn’t

give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as

playing rock and roll instead of Mozart. As time goes on, Holland develops

a strong bond with the students. He spends untold hours preparing

lessons, connecting with students, organizing a marching band, and

directing the school musical. All of this extra work pays off, as Holland is

able to realize the importance of what he is doing, and finally admits that

teaching is all he ever really wanted to do.

Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and

his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole.

However, he couldn’t accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because

he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does. Unable to

draw the child into his musical world, Holland struggles to communicate

with him as professional responsibilities consume him. In addition, the

hearing loss limits Cole’s development as he has to attend a private

school to communicate using sign language. This results in Holland

thinking that his son will never understand why what he does is

important. An example would be the death of John Lennon. Holland

brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth

of his sorrow. Cole has to get into his father’s face to explain that he does

indeed care about music, because it is so much a part of his father. Cole

pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand.

This is the turning point in their relationship that opens the door of

communication. Holland works with the principal at Cole's school to plan a

way to share the high school orchestra's performance with the

hearing impaired. They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral

number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland

dedicates to his son. Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music

later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker. Equally

important is the relationship between Cole and his mother. Much of the

responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother. She really wanted to

Cole to share the same the passion with his father. She tried her best to

give the support that was needed to bring Cole up. The scene where Mrs

Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue

on which school Cole should attend was memorizing. It teaches us that a

person should love his son/daughter no matter how they look or what

defects have. Many people in this society neglect their children because

they are not born normal. As a result, these children feel isolated in the

society which can lead to serious problems in the future.

In the end of the movie, Holland’s compassion for his students and his

desire to bond with his son carries him through his troubles, and actually

pays off for him at the end, when he sees what has become of his

beloved pupils. His students and family are his music, written on his

heart, commending him to us and instructing us about the meaning of

lifelong investment in something worthwhile: people. And with the help of

his students and his family, Glenn Holland learns that though our lives

don't always turn out the way we plan them, life is what happens when

you embrace the unexpected.

[RonBee]

In the movie, Mr Holland’s Opus, there are many issues that relate to human growth and development. One of the many that are worth
mentioning is the relationship between Holland and his students.

That's good. :)

In the beginning, Holland’s goal was to write one memorable piece of music that would be in the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching music at a high school hoping it would pay off the bills.

Try:

• At the beginning of the movie Holland’s goal is to write one memorable piece of music that will be a part of the music scene forever. However, he ends up teaching music at a high school hoping that will pay off bills.

Movies are not real life. In real life after something happens it becomes part of the past. In a movie there is not a past tense the same way there is in real life. In a move the characters are, in a sense, immortal, living their lives over and over and over.

:)

[RonBee]

He is frustrated at first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland didn’t give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as playing rock and roll instead of Mozart.

Try:

• He is frustrated at first because the students are bored and unresponsive, yet Holland doesn’t give up. He manages to teach students through radical methods such as playing rock and roll instead of Mozart.

:)

[RonBee]

As time goes on, Holland develops a strong bond with the students. He spends untold hours preparing lessons, connecting with students, organizing a marching band, and directing the school musical. All of this extra work pays off, as Holland is able to realize the importance of what he is doing, and finally admits that teaching is all he ever really wanted to do.

That's good, but I would (in the last sentence) replace admits with something else.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by tomk

Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole. However, he couldn’t accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does. Unable to draw the child into his musical world, Holland struggles to communicate with him as professional responsibilities consume him. In addition, the hearing loss limits Cole’s development as he has to attend a private school to communicate using sign language. This results in Holland thinking that his son will never understand why what he does is important. An example would be the death of John Lennon. Holland brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth of his sorrow. Cole has to get into his father’s face to explain that he does indeed care about music, because it is so much a part of his father. Cole pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand. This is the turning point in their relationship that opens the door of communication. Holland works with the principal at Cole's school to plan a way to share the high school orchestra's performance with the hearing impaired. They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son. Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker. Equally important is the relationship between Cole and his mother. Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother. She really wanted to Cole to share the same the passion with his father. She tried her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up. The scene where Mrs Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue on which school Cole should attend was memorizing. It teaches us that a person should love his son/daughter no matter how they look or what defects have. Many people in this society neglect their children because they are not born normal. As a result, these children feel isolated in the society which can lead to serious problems in the future.

Re:

• Another issue of human growth is the relationship between Cole and his father. Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole.

In the second sentence, say passion for music.
Re:

• Holland really wanted to share his passion of music with Cole. However, he couldn’t accept that Cole had a 90% hearing loss because he knew Cole would never appreciate music the way he does.

I suggest that you rewrite that paragraph in the present tense. Thus, the above passage would read:

• Holland really wants to share his passion for music with Cole. However, he can’t accept that Cole has a 90% hearing loss, because he knows Cole will never appreciate music the way he does.

Re:

• An example would be the death of John Lennon.

An example of what?
Re:

• Holland brushes off his son, believing Cole couldn't possibly understand the depth of his sorrow.

Can you be more specific?
Re:

• Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole is his mother.

Say:

• Much of the responsibility in taking care of Cole belongs to his mother.

[Tdol]

It's a lengthy paragraph.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by tdol

It's a lengthy paragraph.

That it is.

:wink:

[RonBee]

Re:

• Cole pleads his father to teach him more about music so he can understand.

• Cole pleads with his father to teach him more about music so he can understand it better.

Re:

• They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and sign to share the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son.

• They agree to use lights to punctuate the orchestral number, and they use sign language to explain the lyrics of a song that Glenn Holland dedicates to his son.

Re:

• Father and son are shown joyfully sharing music later, Cole feeling the vibrations by sitting on a stereo speaker.

What kind of vibrations is Cole feeling?

Re:

• She really wanted to Cole to share the same the passion with his father.

How might you improve that sentence?

Re:

• She tried her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up.

Better:

• She did her best to give the support that was needed to bring Cole up.

Better still:

• She does her best to give the support that is needed to bring Cole up.

Re:

• The scene where Mrs Holland was screaming and going hysterical to his husband over the issue on which school Cole should attend was memorizing.

Better:

• The scene where Mrs Holland is screaming and getting hysterical with her husband over the issue about which school Cole should attend is mezmerizing.

It is presented in an interesting way, but there are writing problems. One thing you need to do is make more paragraphs.

Don't double-space everything when you post it.

Are you reading this? Do you find my analysis helpful?

:)

[Edited for typo.]

defintely helpful...thx!

[RonBee]

Do you have any questions? :)

(I edited my previous post to fix a typo.)