this is my letter i need the common from teachers and the grammer checking

[shirman]

15 ABC Street,
Scar, Ontario, Canada

A1B 2C3,

19 December, 2006

Gap Inc. Headquarters
Two Folsom Street,
San Francisco,
CA94105
Dear Sir or Madam:
As a high school, I love wearing the clothing from Gap Inc. since I love the design; they are fashionable. But I want to be sure that the clothing come from and the social responsibility. As I noticed that the Gap factories are sweatshops, the purpose that writing the letter is showing that consumers are concerning the clothing come from and the stories behind the clothing from each worker in the factories. As an ethical shopper, I should be accountable for the social and economy. I am concerned about the maquilas issue. That is the reason I mail the letter to your company. I care the fair-trade because it baseds on dialogue, transparency and respect. It also contributes a sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers.
According to the web site from Gap Inc, it seems Gap Inc. is a responsible seller.
However, I noticed that Gap workers who tried to form a unionlost their jobs when the Gap pulled the work out of their factory and union supporters were being "blacklisted" in the entire export-processing zone. May I have your response about that issue? Moreover, I would like to know the ways which protect the worker’s right. May I receive any information about the code of conduct from Gap Inc.? It’s because no ethical consumer likes to buy any product from a company which ignores the worker’s right.
Finally, may I receive your response? You can send me a mail for your response, or send me a e-mail which is EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Shirman Mak

[Tdol]

Instead of asking 'may I receive your response', why not use a standard phrase like 'I look forward to hearing from you', which would do the same job better, IMO.