#1  
Old 04-Jan-2007, 16:43
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Default Proofreading and Revising


My teach gave me this to revise and proofread and then another student told me I changed to much. I did it wrong. So I need some help. Please tell me what I am doing wrong.
Revising and Proofreading.
Years ago there were Thousands of merry go rounds in the united states Many were made in new york. The carosel horses were hand painted and carved Each horse difrent. Now there are only a few hundred carousels left. The history of Carousels began in france. Solders played a game on horseback carousels were invented to help the practice for the game.

The history of carosels began in France. Soilders played a game on horseback, so Carosels were invented to help practice for the game. The carousal horses were hand painted and carved, each horse was different. Many carosels were made in new york. Years ago there were thousands of merry-go-arounds in the United States, now there are only a few hundred carosels left.
  #2  
Old 04-Jan-2007, 20:16
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Lightbulb Re: Proofreading and Revising

Maybe you were only supposed to correct the grammatical and spelling errors instead of changing the order of the sentences. Most of the errors are in capitalization, comma usage, and sentence endings (use of periods, etc.).
So instead of "Years ago there were Thousands of merry go rounds in the united states Many were made in new york. The carosel horses were hand painted and carved Each horse difrent. Now there are only a few hundred carousels left. The history of Carousels began in france. Solders played a game on horseback carousels were invented to help the practice for the game," change the paragraph to the following:
"Years ago, there were thousands of merry-go-rounds in the United States. Many were made in New York. The carousel horses were hand painted and carved, and each horse was different. Now there are only a few hundred carousels left.
The history of carousels began in France. Soldiers played a game on horseback and carousels were invented to help them practice for the game."
i hope this helps.
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