#1  
Old 14-Mar-2004, 07:20
Anonymous
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Default Difficult sentences to edit

Kindly indicate whether the folowing sentences are correct :-

1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR

There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.

2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?

OR
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?

3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

OR
What were the objectives of the World Memory Championship and
do you think that the objectives had or were fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .

4. For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.

5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.

6. Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .

OR
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.

7. As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .

8. Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ? OR

Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
  #2  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 18:41
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1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR

There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.

The original is fine, though youcould say 'parking space' as well. I'd avoid the use of 'traffic flow' here.
  #3  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 18:42
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2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?

- Yes

OR
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?

-No- 'is' does not go with 'sounds'.
  #4  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 18:43
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3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

I'd be more likely to use 'reached' or 'met' than fulfill for an objective.
  #5  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 18:50
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Quote:
1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR

There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.
The first one is okay. For the second, say:
  • There is plenty of parking space, and the traffic flow is very light.
Quote:
2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?

OR
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?
For the first one, say:
  • Does spending a meaningful day with your schoolmates filled with fun at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you?
In the second one, delete sounds. (Don't put your QMs out there by themselves.) Say:
  • Is the spending of a meaningful day with your school mates filled with fun at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu appealing to you?
Quote:
3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

OR
What were the objectives of the World Memory Championship and
do you think that the objectives had or were fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?
The first sentence is fine. Delete "had or" from the second. (Say: "We want to quote what the person told us during the interview.")

Quote:
4. For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.
Say:
  • For novices:

    Do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall. There are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ready and willing to explain to you the proper climbing techniques and tell you how to use the climbing equipment.
Quote:
5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.
Is the journey from Queenstown a 45km journey?

:)
  #6  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 18:57
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Default Re: Difficult sentences to edit

Quote:
Originally Posted by TAM
Kindly indicate whether the folowing sentences are correct :-

1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR

There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.

2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?

OR
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?

3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

OR
What were the objectives of the World Memory Championship and
do you think that the objectives had or were fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?

NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .

4. For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.

5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.

6. Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .

OR
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.

7. As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .

8. Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ? OR

Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
As far as I can recall, the exact questions have been asked before.

Or I am completely mistaken.

  #7  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 19:13
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Quote:
5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.
  • After a pleasant, 45km journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students to a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant rainforests. Besides that, the movements of South East Asia's longest and the world's fastest cablecar provide some pragmatic science lessons to the students.


Don't space before a comma.

(The word verdant simply means green, so it's a bit redundant.)

:)
  #8  
Old 29-Mar-2004, 19:18
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Quote:
6. Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .

OR
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.
Use the first one.

Quote:
7. As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .
That's good.

Quote:
8. Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ? OR

Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
Those are both good.

:)
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