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Difficult sentences to edit
Kindly indicate whether the folowing sentences are correct :-
1. There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic . OR
There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.
2. Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?
OR
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school
mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?
3. What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship
and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?
OR
What were the objectives of the World Memory Championship and
do you think that the objectives had or were fulfilled over the past
three days in Singapore ?
NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .
4. For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.
5. After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline. Besides that , the movements of South East Asia's longest and world's fastest cable car provide the pragmatic science to the students.
6. Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .
OR
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.
7. As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .
8. Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ? OR
Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
-
There is plenty of parking and not that much traffic
OK
There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very little.
- There is a plenty of parking space and the traffic flow is very light.
Does spending a meaningful day filled with fun with your
schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you ?
It is a little awkward, but it is, I think, grammatical. Try:
- Does spending a meaningful, fun-filled day with your schoolmates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sound appealing to you?
Is the spending of a meaningful day filled with fun with your school mates at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu sounds appealing to you ?
No.
What were the objectives of the 2003 World Memory Championship and do you feel that the objectives have been fulfilled over the past three days in Singapore ?
That is good except I would put a comma after Championship, and you have left the QM out on its own.
NOTE : FOR THE ABOVE SENTENCE, WE WANT TO QUOTE WHAT THE PERSON HAD TOLD US DURING INTERVIEW .
Delete had there. Say the interview. Do not space before a period (full stop).
For novices, do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall, there are highly-qualified and skilled instructors who are ever ready and willing to share with you the proper climbing techniques and how to use the climbing equipment.
- Do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall. There are highly-qualified instructors who are ready and willing to explain the proper climbing techniques and tell you how to use the climbing equipment.
Or:
- To novices:
Do not be intimidated by the towering climbing wall. There are highly- qualified instructors who are ready and willing to explain the proper climbing techniques and tell you how to use the climbing equipment.
After a -45 pleasant journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students through a breathtaking view of well-preserved and verdant raintree forests from the skyline.
- After a pleasant, 45km journey by bus from Queenstown, another 3.49km journey by cable car to the top of the mountain at a maximum speed of 6 metres per second takes the students to a place where there is a breath-taking view of a well-preserved rainforest.
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted youngsters from 200 colleges .
Don't space before either a period or a comma.
Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme attracted youths from 200 colleges.
- Since September 2002 , the eco-tourism programme has attracted students from 200 colleges.
As requested by you the other day, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record .
- In response to your request, the following are the pertinent particulars for your record.
What are pertinent particulars?
Did you benefit from playing football in any other way ?
- Did you benefit from playing football in any other way?
Have you benefited in any other way from playing football ?
- Have you benefited in any other way from playing football?
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