grammar check!

[RonBee]

Re:

Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and a real one. And his heart starts dancing.

In my opinion, that's the best you can do. Simple and effective. There is no reason to confuse the reader with gobbledegook. (What's the difference between his deep mind and him?) In any case, if you have any more questions, post the revised text here, and I will comment on it.

~R

[asad hussain]

Many many thanks for your help, RonBee. I am so grateful to you.

Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between

the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.

I am confused about the insertion of determiners. Don't you think "the" would work well, because the events are known?

[RonBee]

Well, I know you need them (the determiners, that is), but I am not sure how to explain why. For me, it just feels right. But I realize that is not really an explanation. I suppose Tdol can give you an explanation that will satisfy you.

It's hard for me to explain why, but I think it's just perfect.

Perhaps we'll get some more opinions.

~R

[Tdol]

With the determiners, I think the indefinite article could be used to show that this visualisation achieves a general state of sensory confusion. With the definite articles, there's a problem with the second- which event?

[asad hussain]

Many many many many thanks for your help, Ronbee and Tdol!

Tdol, but I feel it's not any general state of sensory confusion, since the imagined event and the real/actual event are known. And it's clear from the poem which two events he can't tell the difference between. Chancing upon the daffodils is the first event (that is mentioned in the poem), and imagining the encounter with the daffodils when he lies on his couch (that's also mentioned.), is the second event. I feel that using indefinite articles insinuates that he isn't able to make the difference between any imagined event and any real event(not the events which took place in the poem),when he thinks of the daffodils.

Please please please again look at the poem for me, and tell me which articles are suitable there. I am very very very very confused. I am again putting the poem down here, and the answer as well.


I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I Wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.


Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.


The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:


For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.


Q. How can the heart dance?

Ans. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between an/the/that imagined event and a/the real one. And his heart starts dancing.

[RonBee]

Don't be confused. Choose the/the, and the reader should experience no confusion over what is meant.

You're doing a good job. Don't worry!

[asad hussain]

Many many thanks, RonBee!!!

[asad hussain]

One more thing that I asked, but no one has answered yet. I asked whether I should answer the question in particular (i.e. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.). or in general (i.e. Imagining something vividly enough will bring your senses and emotions into play until you cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and an actual one.) since it’s unclear from the question whose heart is referred to. The poet’s or the reader’s?

[RonBee]

One more thing that I asked, but no one has answered yet. I asked whether I should answer the question in particular (i.e. Imagining the daffodils vividly enough brings his senses and emotions into play until he cannot tell the difference between the imagined event and the real one. And his heart starts dancing.). or in general (i.e. Imagining something vividly enough will bring your senses and emotions into play until you cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and an actual one.) since it’s unclear from the question whose heart is referred to. The poet’s or the reader’s?

Well, I like the first one better. My interpretation is that we are supposed to be seeing things from the poet's viewpoint. Indeed, that is the whole idea of a poem--to enable us to see things from the poet's viewpoint.

I hope that helps. (Sorry for taking so long.)

~R

[asad hussain]

Oh! Thanks a lot, RonBee. I am so thankful to you.

Yes, it has definitely helped me a lot. It was the last thing that was confusing me.

I just can't thank you in words.