A passage

[nyggus]

Dark, heavy clouds were approaching; it was getting colder and colder as though everything knew what we were going to do. Though just a moment before there hadn't been a breathe of wind, it began to pick up, soon becoming a gale which could blow down the strongest trees, not to mention us. With the last look of the sun being hidden, our optimism disappeared. Stooped as though exhausted, we looked at each other just to encourage ourselves, and went strait into the den, our legs shaking. I only hoped this wasn't a vice den.
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I'd appreciate any comments on the grammar and style of the above passage.

Thanks,
Nyggus

[Anglika]

Dark, heavy clouds were approaching; it was getting colder and colder as though everything knew what we were going to do. Though just a moment before there hadn't been a breath of wind, it began to pick up, soon becoming a gale that could blow down the strongest trees, not to mention us. With the last glimpse of the sun being hidden, our optimism disappeared. Stooped as though exhausted, we looked at each other just to encourage ourselves, and went straight into the den, our legs shaking. I only hoped this wasn't a vice den.
---

I'd appreciate any comments on the grammar and style of the above passage.

Thanks,
Nyggus

It's good - I wonder if "the world" or "nature" or the surrounding mountains" might be better than "everything knew", which seems to me a bit flat.

"breathe" = the action of breathing
"strait" = narrow

[nyggus]

It's good - I wonder if "the world" or "nature" or the surrounding mountains" might be better than "everything knew", which seems to me a bit flat.

"breathe" = the action of breathing
"strait" = narrow

Many thanks, Anglika. I can't stop asking myself a question when I will stop making typos...