Conclusion/ confirm

[ben9108]

I would be grateful if someone help to comment/ modify the following sentence.
The purpose of sentence meaning is to confirm the instruction/ result after coordination with manager. I want to use sentence 2 in my letter because of more polite.
1.)I would like to confirm you that the fan will be control zone A.

2.)I have a conclusion regarding the fan will be control zone A after discussing with you on 18 Jan 2007

[mykwyner]

1.)I would like to confirm with you that the fan will be in control zone A as we discussed on 18 January, 2007.

[ben9108]

Originally Posted by mykwyner

1.)I would like to confirm with you that the fan will be in control zone A as we discussed on 18 January, 2007.

WOuld you mind comment / modify on sentence 2?

[mykwyner]

Yes. Sentence 2. is unacceptable. You may think it is more polite, but it is awkward and very difficult to understand. Change it to my version of your sentence 1. I have written thousands of business letters, and that's how one should sound. The best way to be polite to your reader is to write in a style that is clear and easy to understand.