Can you correct my letter of complaint, please?

[candelina]

Dear Mr. Burns,
I've just returned from one of your fall course in Brighton (from September to December) organized for foreign students, and I'm writing to express my strong dissatisfaction at the course organisation.
First of all, you advertised on your brochure that there were karaoke evenings in the hall, but this great fun was cancelled twice at last minute. Secondly, you advertised that during week-ends there were beach parties and barbecues, but as expected there were 7°C so it was a bit cold.
Added to all this, you promoted that we had discount prices on our trips, but there weren't any discount and not only when we went to London we had to pay the train, but also we saw the British Museum in an hour because the last train was at 4:30 P.M and we didn't have so much time. What's more our teacher (who had to be our personal guide didn't know our names and he stayed all the day with his cousin).
Furthermore, you advertised the possibility of an excursion at Edinburgh and York, but from Brighton these towns were too far and the trip would be too expansive.
On the top of that, I stayed three months with Italian students and they spoke only Italian and teachers did nothing; so this course was a complete waste of time.
As you will realise, I'm very disgusted with your course organisation and I expect a letter of explanation from you.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by candelina

Dear Mr. Burns,
I've just returned from one of your fall [Autumn if writing to England] course in Brighton (from September to December) organized for foreign students, and I'm writing to express my strong dissatisfaction at the course organisation.
First of all, you advertised on [in]your brochure that there were karaoke evenings in the hall, but this great fun [delete - not necessary]was cancelled twice at last minute. Secondly, you advertised that during week-ends there were beach parties and barbecues, but as expected there were 7°C so it was a bit cold. [[It seems unlikely that beach parties would be advertised for a course running Sept-Dec in Brighton - I think you had better look for another problem]
Added to all this, you promoted that we had discount prices on our trips, but there weren't any discounts. Not only that, when we went to London we had to pay for the train, but also we saw the British Museum in an hour[and we only had an hour in the British Museum] because the last train was at 4:30 P.M and we didn't have so much time. What's more, our teacher (who was meant to be our personal guide) didn't know our names and he stayed all the day with his cousin.
Furthermore, you advertised the possibility of an excursion to Edinburgh and York, but from Brighton these towns were too far and the trip would be too expensive.
On the top of that, I stayed three months with Italian students and they spoke only Italian and teachers did nothing; so this course was a complete waste of time.
As you will realise, I'm very disgusted with your course organisation and I expect a letter of explanation from you.

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