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  #1  
Old 13-Jun-2004, 17:09
razakabbi
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Default requsting grammar correction and editing with good words

please give much beauty to the follwing document correcting grammar and replacing relevent good words wherever necessary and suggest me the best wayof writing skillsand comment on this matterso as to im,prove myself.

Al- jazira Automatic Door factory located at Shifa industrial area in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, came to existence in 1998 as the result of profound experience, creative research, related studies and trainings in different countries as well as the hard work of its ambitious founder Mr. Mahmoud Abul Hedaya.

It is proud to say that within the short period as it has been established AL- JAZIRA has become nearest and dearest to everyone in the kingdom for introducing its best series of products in automatic door industry. Its variety of automatic doors such as residential, commercial, industrial rollup shutters, sectional overhead doors, grille shutters, window shutters, barriers etc have succeeded in gaining most popularity in the kingdom.

AL- JAZIRA realizes very well the outgoing market demands and follows up the necessary standards to meet requirements enhancing the quality of products.

For the same reason and its revolutionary parameters, for any type of automatic doors AL-JAZIRA has become only right choice for even many well known contracting and construction companies in the kingdom for their projects both in private and government sectors mainly health, education, military sections. Our product applications extends to various shopping malls, office buildings, super markets, pharmacies, vehicle parking areas, ware houses, home compounds etc. The key factor in success is our emphasis on quality, security, reliability and safety.

The other factor which resulted in our growth is the extensive network of professionals in the departments of manufacturing, distribution, installation, service and field support. In addition to this we rely on innovative designs and options with colors. We strongly believe that the products should have longer life with less maintenance and better protection against elements such as weather and dust. Our range of products is tailored to respond today's market demands for practicality and quality. Our products are guaranteed to meet all current safety measures.

To respond with high demands on our products and serve much better we are forced to extend the manufacturing and distribution centers. Hence recently we have established enlarged new factory with four times bigger than earlier one. Despite in Riyadh, we have the branches in Dammam, Jeddah etc. Insha Allah, we are planning to extend our branches in all main cities within the kingdom, U.A.E and other gulf countries.

We will be pleased to provide you relevant guidance to choose convenient door type or any information you require and advice you on any specific question.
  #2  
Old 13-Jun-2004, 18:11
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Default Re: requsting grammar correction and editing with good words

Quote:
Originally Posted by razakabbi
please give much beauty to the follwing document correcting grammar and replacing relevent good words wherever necessary and suggest me the best wayof writing skillsand comment on this matterso as to im,prove myself.

Al- jazira Automatic Door factory located at (in the) Shifa industrial area in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, came to existence (was founded) in 1998 as the result of profound (great\considerable) experience, creative research, related studies and trainings (training) in different countries as well as the hard work of its ambitious founder Mr. Mahmoud Abul Hedaya.

It is proud (We are proud to say) to say that within the short period as (delete 'as') it has been established (comma) AL- JAZIRA has become (the) nearest and dearest (hmm- I don'tlike this phrase- it normally refers to people. How about 'the number one choice for'?) to everyone in the kingdom for introducing (delete?) its best series of products in automatic door industry. Its variety of automatic doors such as residential, commercial, industrial rollup shutters, sectional overhead doors, grille shutters, window shutters, barriers etc have succeeded in gaining most popularity (becoming the most popular?) in the kingdom.

AL- JAZIRA realizes very well the outgoing market demands and follows up the necessary standards to meet requirements enhancing the quality of (its) products.

For the same reason and its revolutionary parameters (I'm not sure what these revolutionary parameters are) , for any type of automatic doors AL-JAZIRA has become only right choice for even (the only choice for) many well known contracting and construction companies in the kingdom for their projects both in private and government sectors (comma) mainly health, education, military sections (sectors). Our product applications extends (extend) to various shopping malls, office buildings, super markets, pharmacies, vehicle parking areas, ware houses (one word) , home compounds etc. The key factor in success is our emphasis on quality, security, reliability and safety.

The other factor which resulted (has enabled our growth) in our growth is the extensive network of professionals in the departments of manufacturing, distribution, installation, service and field support. In addition to this we rely on innovative designs and options with colors. We strongly believe that the products should have longer life with less maintenance and better protection against (the elements- I'd also delete mention of the weather and dust) elements such as weather and dust. Our range of products is tailored to respond today's market demands for practicality and quality. Our products are guaranteed to meet all current safety measures.

To respond with (to the) high demands on our products and serve much better we are forced (this verb sounds a bit negatiuve for a sales pitch) to extend the manufacturing and distribution centers. Hence recently we have established enlarged new (can it be enlarged and new?) factory with four times bigger than earlier one. Despite in (In addition to Riyadh) Riyadh, we have the (delete 'the') branches in Dammam, Jeddah etc. Insha Allah, we are planning to extend (OPEN) our branches in all main cities within the kingdom, U.A.E and other gulf countries.

We will be pleased to provide you (with) relevant guidance to choose (a) convenient door type or any information you require and advice you on any specific question.
Hi, here are some suggestions.
  #3  
Old 14-Jun-2004, 06:33
razakabbi
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I AM VERY VERY GRATEFUL TO THE TEACHER WHO COORECTED MY GRAMMAR MISTAKE IN THE DOCUMENT. I ALSO THANK TO USINGENGLISH.COM FOR ITS KIND SERVICE IN THIS REGARD.
  #4  
Old 14-Jun-2004, 08:48
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You're welcome. Try posting it again when you mad the changes and I'll have a second look.
  #5  
Old 14-Jun-2004, 15:17
razakabbi
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SIR, IHAVE ADDED SOME MORE MATTER TO THE DOCUMENT AS PER OUR MD'S DIRECTION AND FOLLWED UP YOUR CORRECTIONS.WILL YOU PLEASE EDIT IT AGAIN AND SUGGEST NECESSARY CORRECTION? I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR KIND SERVICE
THANK YOU.

Al- jazira Automatic Door factory located in the Shifa industrial area in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia was founded in 1998 as the result of considerable experience, creative research, related studies and training in different countries as well as the hard work of its ambitious founder Mr. Mahmoud Abul Hedaya.

It is proud to say that within the short period it has been established, AL- JAZIRA has become nearest and dearest to everyone in the kingdom for introducing its best series of products in automatic door industry. Its variety of automatic doors such as residential, commercial, industrial rollup shutters, sectional overhead doors, grille shutters, window shutters, barriers etc have succeeded in becoming the most popular in the kingdom as they built to withstand Middle East climate and its hardware is made withstand every possible need.

AL- JAZIRA realizes very well the ongoing market demands and pays detail attention to every aspect of production and service to meet customer satisfaction enhancing the quality of its products.

For more than one reasons and for its recognized contribution in this field, for any type of automatic doors AL-JAZIRA has become the only right choice for many well known contracting and construction companies in the kingdom for their projects both in private and government sectors especially health, education, military sectors. Our product applications extend to various shopping malls, office buildings, apartments, super markets, pharmacies, vehicle parking areas, warehouses, home compounds and so on. The key factor in success is our emphasis on quality, security, reliability and safety.

The other factor which has enabled our growth is the extensive network of professionals in the departments of manufacturing, distribution, installation, service and field support. In addition to this we rely on innovative designs and options with colors. We strongly believe that the products should have longer life with less maintenance and better protection against elements such as weather and dust. Our range of products is tailored to respond today's market demands for practicality and quality. Besides, they are featured reasonable mechanism and compact dimensions meeting all current safety measures.

To respond with the growing demands on our products and serve much better recently we have set up new factory with four times bigger than earlier one. In addition to Riyadh, we have branches in Dammam, Jeddah etc. Insha Allah, we are planning to open new branches throughout the kingdom including U.A.E and other gulf countries.

We always try our best to serve our beloved customers adopting advanced technologies, modifying structure and designs taking into consideration that our products should always free from any disadvantage.

We look forward to your cooperation and pleased to provide you with relevant guidance to choose a convenient door type or any information you require and advice you on any specific question with tireless pursuit. Hence you can hope you will have the right solution for your any door requirements only through AL-JAZIRA
  #6  
Old 14-Jun-2004, 23:22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by razakabbi
SIR, IHAVE ADDED SOME MORE MATTER TO THE DOCUMENT AS PER OUR MD'S DIRECTION AND FOLLWED UP YOUR CORRECTIONS.WILL YOU PLEASE EDIT IT AGAIN AND SUGGEST NECESSARY CORRECTION? I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR KIND SERVICE
THANK YOU.

Al- jazira Automatic Door factory located in the Shifa industrial area in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia was founded in 1998 as the result of considerable experience, creative research, related studies and training in different countries as well as the hard work of its ambitious founder Mr. Mahmoud Abul Hedaya.

It is (We are proud) proud to say that within the short period it has been established, AL- JAZIRA has become nearest and dearest (I still don'tlike this expression much- nearest and dearest = family) to everyone in the kingdom for introducing its best series of products in (the) automatic door industry. Its variety of automatic doors(comma) such as residential, commercial, industrial rollup shutters, sectional overhead doors, grille shutters, window shutters, barriers etc have succeeded in becoming the most popular in the kingdom as they (are) built to withstand (the) Middle East climate and its hardware is made (to) withstand every possible need (use?).

AL- JAZIRA realizes very well the ongoing market demands and pays detail (close) attention to every aspect of production and service to meet customer satisfaction by enhancing the quality of its products.

For more than one reasons (For many reasons- or more than one reason) and for its recognized contribution in this field, for any type of automatic doors AL-JAZIRA has become the only right choice for many well known contracting and construction companies in the kingdom for their projects both in (the) private and government sectors especially health, education, military sectors. Our product applications extend to various shopping malls, office buildings, apartments, supermarkets, pharmacies, vehicle parking areas, warehouses, home compounds and so on. The key factor in success is our emphasis on quality, security, reliability and safety.

The other factor which has enabled our growth is the extensive network of professionals in the departments of manufacturing, distribution, installation, service and field support. In addition to this we rely on innovative designs and options with colors. We strongly believe that the products should have longer life with less maintenance and better protection against elements such as weather and dust. Our range of products is tailored to respond (to) today's market demands for practicality and quality. Besides, they are featured (feature reliable mechanisms ) reasonable mechanism and compact dimensions meeting all current safety measures.

To respond with (to) the growing demands on our products and serve (our clients) much better (comma) recently we have set up (a) new factory with (delete with) four times bigger than (the) earlier one. In addition to Riyadh, we have branches in Dammam, Jeddah etc. Insha Allah, we are planning to open new branches throughout the kingdom including U.A.E and other gulf countries.

We always try our best to serve our beloved (too strong- I'd say esteemed) customers adopting advanced technologies, modifying structure and designs taking into consideration that our products should always free from any disadvantage.

We look forward to your cooperation and (will be) pleased to provide you with relevant guidance to choose a convenient door type or any information you require and advice you on any specific question with tireless pursuit. Hence you can hope you will have the right solution for your any door requirements only through AL-JAZIRA
Does this help?
  #7  
Old 15-Jun-2004, 06:24
razakabbi
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thank yo sir, i am very proud of you. i hope that i would get your kind help and suggestion on english whenever i seek.

will you explain me the usage of the word 'access' and its broad meaning.

what does the following sentence mean?
access is denied.
direct access to confort.

awaiting for your reply
razak
  #8  
Old 15-Jun-2004, 10:06
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'Access is denied' would be used, for example, when someone tries to access or open a page on the internet where they are allowed to view the page. 'Access' could also mean being allowed into a place.

Direct access to comfort is a bit vague- where did you find this example? Can you give a bit more context?
  #9  
Old 16-Jun-2004, 11:37
razakabbi
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"direct access to confort "- I found in an advertisement as headline

below this they write- open and close your door from inside the car.

If you would like me ask more, please explain the usage of the term 'in the long run'
thankyou
  #10  
Old 16-Jun-2004, 12:12
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If I may chime in, 'in the long run' is sort of the opposite of 'short-term'.
E.g.:
"He has alot of go now, but in the long run he's bound to grow tired of the job like others".
"He may win this hand [in poker], but in the long run it's going to cost him a sheer fortune if he goes on playing that kind of cheese".
"Luck evens out in the long run".

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