a touring jewelry merchant, specializing in making purchase

[angliholic]

His lifelong ambition is to be a touring jewelry merchant, specializing in making purchase of rare gemstone from poverty-stricken countries and selling it to well-to-do gem connoisseurs.



Is the above sample well written? If not, how would you revise it? Thanks.

[Anglika]

His lifelong ambition is to be a travelling jewel merchant, specializing in making purchase of rare gemstones from poverty-stricken countries and selling them to well-to-do gem connoisseurs.

[angliholic]

His lifelong ambition is to be a travelling jewel merchant, specializing in making purchase of rare gemstones from poverty-stricken countries and selling them to well-to-do gem connoisseurs.

Thanks, Anglika, for the rewriting.
I like your revision better--it's clear and concise.
But I still have some doubt, though--what's wrong with "touring jewelry" in the base text?

[Anglika]

If you had said that he bought gemstones and set them into jewellery which he sold, then fine - he is a travelling jewellery merchant/salesman. But as you only mention buying gemstones to sell, he is not a jeweller but a merchant in gemstones.

[angliholic]

If you had said that he bought gemstones and set them into jewellery which he sold, then fine - he is a travelling jewellery merchant/salesman. But as you only mention buying gemstones to sell, he is not a jeweller but a merchant in gemstones.

Thanks, Anglika, for your helpful reply.

But I don't get the bolded part.
Besides, I don't know why "touring" doesn't work in the base sentence.

[Anglika]

A jeweller is someone who makes jewellery - rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, brooches.

Touring = generally a visit to several places made for pleasure. It is not a word used in conjunction with the concept of travelling in order to sell goods. "Travelling salesman" is a recognised collocation.

[angliholic]

A jeweller is someone who makes jewellery - rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, brooches.

Touring = generally a visit to several places made for pleasure. It is not a word used in conjunction with the concept of travelling in order to sell goods. "Travelling salesman" is a recognised collocation.

Thanks, Anglika.
Got it!


By the way, I find "in conjunction with" very fresh and interesting, I assume it refers to "in association with" and "in reference to," right?

[Anglika]

Yes

[angliholic]

Thanks, Anglika.