Question about wedding invitation

[Rian]

this sentence sounds so weird, but i can't correct it. Could anyone
please tell me what's wrong? i'm making a flash wedding invitation for
my wedding. these words are seperated into parts and animated.
a part will show up and they will disappear right before other parts show.
the sentence read:


some poople
come and go
in your life
however
someone will stay
forever.

does this sound correct? could anyone PLEASE help me?
any help is greatly appreciated

[moniza]

this sentence sounds so weird, but i can't correct it. Could anyone
please tell me what's wrong? i'm making a flash wedding invitation for
my wedding. these words are seperated into parts and animated.
a part will show up and they will disappear right before other parts show.
the sentence read:


some poople
come and go
in your life
however
someone will stay
forever.

does this sound correct? could anyone PLEASE help me?
any help is greatly appreciated

" People may come and go however someone will last forever in your life"
This may be correct!
regards

[David L.]

...but in that form, it doesn't lend itself to flashing a few words at a time, which Rian wants - and that would certainly add to the impact and poignancy. While you're waiting for others to come up with something brilliant, I'll keep tossing it around in my own mind on the off-chance...

A bit later: can someone kick this possibility around?:
Most people I know
Seem to come and go.
That's Life. Whatever.
But come the day
When someone will stay:
My Wife. Forever

[Anglika]

...but in that form, it doesn't lend itself to flashing a few words at a time, which Rian wants - and that would certainly add to the impact and poignancy. While you're waiting for others to come up with something brilliant, I'll keep tossing it around in my own mind on the off-chance...

A bit later: can someone kick this possibility around?:
Most people I know
Seem to come and go.
That's Life. Whatever.
But come the day
When someone will stay:
My Wife. Forever

As a matter of interest - why the colon after stay?

But come the day
When someone will stay
My wife - for ever.

[David L.]

Your way suggests ' when somebody will stay as my wife forever, not like those other two £$%@! who dumped me after a year and took me for all my money...."

It's a wedding invite. I took liberties. I matched it with the style of That's Life. Whatever. I used the colon because: 'but come the day when someone will stay' - up to that point, it is just a wistful wish, a dream. On the next line, and with the use of the colon, I was trying for...it's happened! It's actually happened! The day has come - my wedding day. That person is a wife. MY Wife... and it's Forever.

I give you, it's a tricky one,and a lot to ask of any one punctuation mark!
You've spurred me to keep working on it.

A bit later: how about..

Most people I know
Seem to come and go.
Cest la Vie.
That's Life. Whatever.
But come the day
When someone will stay..
a someone for me...
My Wife! Forever.

In two minds about the exclamation mark though.