Could you proofread the following sentences?
In terms of content, most of the ideas are there. That is you are not off topic. However, the ideas are scattered in your essay. Remember to stick to the one-idea-one-paragraph rule when you write an argumentative essay. Most of the parargraphs are loosely organised; perhaps, there is a lack of topic sentence in each paragraph. In short, there is a lack of a focus in most of the paragraphs.
I would make this minor change to avoid repetition.
Originally Posted by Unregistered
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