beyond my control

[bosun]

Is the expression 'beyond one's control' is acceptable in the following sentence?( also, if you see any problems, can you give me feedback , especailly the red parts??)


I am really feel sorry that I have to request a refund of hotel fee of $500 ( is it ok??). My brother died suddenly and I have to attend the funeral service. As you can guess, his death was sudden and this circumstance is beyond my control . Therefore, in spite of your hotel's policy that no refund is allowed , I wonder if you can accept my request as exception. I would really apprecite if if you could refund my money.

[Horsa]

Not a bad attempt - just a couple of suggestions

I am really sorry that I have to request a refund of the hotel fee of $500. My brother died suddenly and I have to attend the funeral service. As I am sure you will understand, his death was sudden and this circumstance is totally beyond my control . Therefore, in spite of your hotel's policy that no refund is allowed , I would like to ask that you treat my request as an exception. I would really appreciate it if you could refund my money.