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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-Apr-2008, 13:35
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Default Correction of a few sentences

Hello there.

Two months ago I wrote a report about Gregor Johann Mendel which I have got back today. I am very upset because this text was checked by a student teacher and there are some mistakes which I can't absolutely understand.

The mistakes are underlined.

1.
Born as the son of am farmer, Johann Mendel had already been interested in nature during his childhood which led to his work as a gardener and his learning of beekeeping in this time.

Version of my teacher:
Born as the son of am farmer, Johann Mendel had already been interested in nature during his childhood which led him to work as a gardener and learn beekeeping later life.

It may be that the version of my student teacher sounds better but I think that my version isn't grammatical wrong.

2.
Because of his study between 1854 to 1863, where Mendel approximately cultivated 29000 pea plants he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles two out of four were hybrid and one out of four were purebred dominant.

During his studies between 1854 and 1863, where Mendel cultivated approximately 29000 pea plants he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles two out of four were hybrid and one out of four were purebred dominant.

My corrected version would be:
Because of his study from 1854 to 1863, where Mendel approximately cultivated 29000 pea plants he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles two out of four were hybrid and one out of four were purebred dominant.

I don't understand why it has to be ".....cultivated approximately" and not "approxmately cultivated".

3.
At dominant-recessive inheritance the progeny often equates absolutely to one of the parents because only the dominant gene accomplishes.
The notes of the recessive one are at the genotype available but they don't come to development in this generation.

Student teacher's version:
At dominant-recessive inheritance the progeny often equalsabsolutely to one of the parents because only the dominant gene accomplishes.
The informers of the recessive one are available at the genotype but they don't come to development in this generation.

Why have I to say "are available at the genotype available...." and not "are available at the genotype"?

I hope you can help me because I am very angry...



Maluues!
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Old 04-Apr-2008, 14:05
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Default Re: Correction of a few sentences

Don't be angry about your teacher's corrections.

Try to learn WHY they are correct.
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Old 04-Apr-2008, 14:48
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Default Re: Correction of a few sentences

interested in nature during his childhood
which led to his work as a gardener and his learning of beekeeping in this time.

Version of my teacher:
which led him to work as a gardener and learn beekeeping later life.

It may be that the version of my student teacher sounds better but I think that my version isn't grammatically wrong.


It isn't grammatically wrong. It is the logical meaning of how you have expressed it that is incorrect. Did mother nature write him a reference?
Understand, it was his own interest and enthusiasm about nature and things horticultural as a child that led him to decide, no, not medicine, not nuclear physics, it is a gardener's life for me. Being interested in nature as a child does not necessarily lead on to a career as gardener, like some promotion at work.

Because of his study between 1854 to 1863,
Because of his study between 1854 and 1863,
He worked in Vienna 1854 to 1863, ...

where Mendel approximately cultivated 29000
Mendel died approximately(=close to the actual) 5 pm last Tuesday
Mendel approximately died 5pm. Doctors were not satisfied with this, and refused to write out a death certificate.

Last edited by David L.; 04-Apr-2008 at 15:35.
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Old 04-Apr-2008, 15:25
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Default Re: Correction of a few sentences

Why have I to say "are available at the genotype available...." and not "are at the genotype available "?

'available' refers to the the verb 'are', and so needs to go after it for clarity of meaning.

Would you say:
He is for comment available.
I am from studying tired.

the sense and meaning is: he is available
...and he is available and ready, not to officiate at weddings, not to give manicures, but to comment on the situation.
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Old 04-Apr-2008, 17:55
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Default Re: Correction of a few sentences

Thanks for your help.
I wasn't angry at my teacher but at the mistakes. It is just my own stupidity which makes ma angry...
Again,thanks your help. I think I am a bit smarter right now :)
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Old 04-Apr-2008, 19:46
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Default Re: Correction of a few sentences

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maluues View Post
1.
Born as the son of a farmer, Johann Mendel had already been interested in nature during his childhood which led to his work as a gardener and his learning of beekeeping in this time.

Version of my teacher:
Born as the son of a farmer, Johann Mendel had already been interested in nature during his childhood which led him to work as a gardener and learn beekeeping later life.

...and to learn about beekeeping later in life.

It may be that the version of my student teacher sounds better but I think that my version isn't grammatically wrong.

"learning beekeeping" is not wrong. It is as good as my suggestion, but you do need to alter "in this time". It ought to be "later in life" OR "in later life", and not "later life".

2.
Because of his study between 1854 to 1863, where Mendel approximately cultivated 29000 pea plants he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles two out of four were hybrid and one out of four were purebred dominant.

During his studies between 1854 and 1863, where Mendel cultivated approximately 29000 pea plants he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles two out of four were hybrid and one out of four were purebred dominant.

My corrected version would be:
Because of his study from 1854 to 1863, where Mendel approximately cultivated 29,000 pea plants, he found that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles, that two out of four were hybrid and that one out of four was pure-bred dominant.

I don't understand why it has to be ".....cultivated approximately" and not "approximately cultivated".

Because it is the number of plants that is approximate, not the cultivation.

3.
In dominant-recessive inheritance, the progeny often equates absolutely to one of the parents because only the dominant gene accomplishes.is effective/influential. The notes of the recessive one are at the genotype available but they don't come to development in this generation.

Student teacher's version:
In dominant-recessive inheritance the progeny often equals absolutely to one of the parents because only the dominant gene accomplishesis effective/influential. The informers of the recessive gene are available in the genotype but they don't come to development in this generation.

Why do have I to say "are available at the genotype...." and not "are at the genotype available"?

David has answered this question.

I hope you can help me because I am very angry...



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