Is my Paragraph correct?

[Naple]

Thinking about my extracurricular activities such as reading books,travelling and taking part actively in sports has helped me to realise that these things are fun and enjoyable aswell as helpful enough for one's overall development.The achievements that I think I have gained from my experience is that the time that I have spent reading books has helped me a lot to build up knowledge about the subject that I like a lot.

[Anglika]

Thinking about my extracurricular activities, such as reading books,travelling and taking part actively in sports, has helped me to realise that these things are fun and enjoyable as well as helpful for one's overall development.The most important/valuable achievement that I think I have gained is that the time that I have spent reading books has helped me to build up knowledge about a subject that I like a lot.

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