How to improve my essay?

[Ye Xinxin177]

I'm a Chinese senior high school student studying in an international school. I have some difficulties in writing essays. My scores are usually at a range of 12~16 out of 24.
My teacher says my hooks are not attractive, and sometimes my supporting ideas are nor mature. What can I do to solve this problems?

Maria

[Tdol]

Without seeing an example, it's hard to say; could you post a title and your basic ideas to look at?