come to the point

[bosun]

When I give feedback to students' writing, can I say as follows?

1. Don't beat around the bush. Come to the point( for example, when students start their introduction with too many unnessary words)

2.Don't repeat the same ideas or sentences.

3. What is the relaitpnship between your minor and major supporting sentneces? I don't see any connection.

4. I can't understand what you are saying in this parts.

[oregeezer]

1. Just oriental politese! Cross out the words you would NOT use.
2. Okay
3. Okay (if you taught them there MUST be a connection.)
4. Better: I can't undrstand what you are saying in this part. (Singular)
OR these parts. (Plural)