Please help to check it

[Anonymous]

Hello!!!
Can you help me to check the following :

However, most of the parents have to work. Therefore, it is difficult for them to supervise what their children watch on TV. Thus, many parents suppose after-school classes can do something for their children. However, they send their children to some unsuitable classes without thorough considerations. They usually neglect their children’s needs and interest. Besides, their children may be very tired after school and will not have enough energy to attend other classes. Consequently, their beloved children will learn nothing from those classes and these after-school classes also cannot arouse children’s interest in learning, especially English, as English is not their mother tongue .

Factually, a tutorial school can be a tool for improving students’ language skills. Students attend after-school tutorial classes will have a positive effect on learning English. Attending after-school tutorial classes, students can feel a real classroom environment. Tutors can design different standards of English worksheets for students to practise their knowledge of English. In addition, tutorial classes give students an opportunity to seek help from tutors when they encounter problems. Tutors are also able to correct students’ English mistakes such as grammar, usage or pronunciation. Therefore, students can learn the language better and build up a better foundation for their reading, speaking, writing and listening skills.

[Tdol]

Starting with 'however' is confusing because I don't know what you are contrasting it to.

the parents???? This should be ''most parents' (in general)

They usually neglect their children’s needs and interest.- should be interests

may be very tired after school and will not have enough energy - should be may instead of will

their beloved children will learn nothing from those classes- again will is too strong

Students attend after-school - students who

students can feel a real classroom environment.- meaning is unclear