the letter of complaint

[Anatoly]

Hello, dear teachers,
I would be grateful to you very much to tell me if there is something wrong in the following text:
“I am writing to express my concern about the state of the flats in the blocks at Towerhill, on Merseyside.
Eighty families are compelled to endure the wetness and decay in their flats. The members of some families - adults and children – sleep in one bedroom because the mould has made the others unusable. The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.
The water from the flooded flats above trickles down the electrical wiring that could be the cause for an accident.
The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police doesn’t patrol the area. Therefore the danger of crimes faces the tenants.
I must urge you to take immediate action to evacuate the flats.”
Thank you in advance!
Yours sincerely :), Anatoly.

[RonBee]

Commentary.

“I am writing to express my concern about the state of the flats in the blocks at Towerhill, on Merseyside.

That is good.

Eighty families are compelled to endure the wetness and decay in their flats.

I suggest replacing wetness and decay with dampness and mould.

The members of some families - adults and children – sleep in one bedroom because the mould has made the others unusable.

That is good.

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.

Please be more specific about the conditions outside their flats. (You need to replace "destructions and mess" with something, but at this point I am not sure what it should be.)

The water from the flooded flats above trickles down the electrical wiring that could be the cause for an accident.

The water from the flooded flats trickles down to the flats below them, and because it might come in contact with the electrical wiring that creates a fire hazard.

The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police doesn’t patrol the area. Therefore the danger of crimes faces the tenants.

The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police don't patrol the area. That leaves the tenants vulnerable to crime.

I must urge you to take immediate action to evacuate the flats.”

That is good.

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[Anatoly]

Originally Posted by RonBee

]Commentary.

Please be more specific about the conditions outside their flats. (You need to replace "destructions and mess" with something, but at this point I am not sure what it should be.)
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I meant blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and household rubbish.
Thank you very much, RonBee, for your help.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Anatoly

I meant blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and household rubbish.

Ah, that is good. Include that in the letter. Say something like, "The conditions outside the flats are intolerable--blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment, and household rubbish." That should do it.

Thank you very much, RonBee, for your help.

You're quite welcome.

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[Tdol]

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.


People have to put up with dirt, vandalism and rubbish outside their flats. ???

[Anatoly]

Originally Posted by tdol

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.


People have to put up with dirt, vandalism and rubbish outside their flats. ???

Thank you, very much, Tdol! You helped very much too! However I'm trying to write a letter in formal style and I'm not sure about "put up with" if this is an appropriate phrasal verb

[Tdol]

OK- how about using 'endure'?

[RonBee]

Perhaps tolerate?

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[Tdol]

Tolerate sounds a bit accepting for a complaint- I was trying to find something more negative. There's something better than 'endure', but I haven't got there.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by tdol

Tolerate sounds a bit accepting for a complaint- I was trying to find something more negative. There's something better than 'endure', but I haven't got there.

I can't say that I totally agree with that. How about: "I am forced to tolerate that sickening odor every time I walk down that street."

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