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Gaaa, that sentence is even longer than the first!!!
But at least now I think I understand what the original paragraph was trying to say...
:D I laughed so hard that I almost could not hold my mouse.
I think Casiopea's rewriting is very clear. But what you got is not the meaning that the original paragraph conveyed, because Casiopea was confused by the para!
Was that your paragraph? Ooh, NewHope, don't laugh.
As a reader I was trying to show what it sounded/read like. :wink: 
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