grammar

Dear Teachers,

Could you pllease check the following for grammar mistakes ?

Dear Sirs,


Reference is made to your message of today regarding a/m subject

Please note that the three crew members who signed off from
the vessel on 4th of October, after completing the
immigration formalities they were driven by a Limousine
in order to be accommodated at the Hotel till the date of
their departure which was due on 6th of October.

Upon their arrival at the hotel we contacted them to give
them their flight details and to inform them to make check out
from the hotel at 1230Hrs/6th Oct and that our driver will
be waiting for them at 1300Hrs/6th Oct to take them to the
airport where our representative will be waiting for them there.

In the mean time our rep assisted them at the airport and paid
the extra dues implemented by the Air Liners these dues are
paid in USD.


Thanks in advance for your assistance

[Mister Micawber]

Here you are:

'Dear Sirs,

In reference to your message of today regarding a/m subject:

Please note that the three crew members who signed off from the vessel on the 4th of October, after completing the immigration formalities, were driven by limousine to hotel accommodations until the date of their departure, scheduled for the 6th of October.

Upon their arrival at the hotel, we contacted them to give them their flight details and to inform them that they should check out from the hotel at 1230Hrs/6th Oct and that our driver would be waiting for them at 1300Hrs/6th Oct to take them to the airport, where our representative will be waiting for them.

In the meantime, our representative has assisted them at the airport and paid the extra dues implemented by the airline(s); these dues were paid in USD.

Thank you in advance for your assistance.'