Mumbai World Class city, an article kindly check

[new2grammar]

Municipal dreams to make Mumbai, Hong Kong, this wave is hitting my ear drums since years. By the time they would achieve it, Hong Kong would be far better than Mumbai. How would you be able to keep the pace? Why not make Mumbai a Mumbai? Let Hong Kong imitate our model. Why we always look outside for the inspiration, we need to learn to see within us, to create a new world class city. Ah! How would you go about it, the air in city is ranted with the cry ‘jobs only for the local people’, this divisive politics is spiraling dangerous atmosphere. World class city attracts world class talent, but here fellow citizen of the country from other city is not allowed in this mega city then how would you achieve this dream?

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by new2grammar

Municipal dreams to make Mumbai into an Indian Hong Kong,this is an idea that has been around for years. But why not just make Mumbai a super-Mumbai? Why are we always looking outside for inspiration? We need to learn to see within us, to create a new world class city of our own. With the constant cry of "Jobs only for local people", there is little sign of this awareness. A world-class city attracts world-class talent, but if citizens from other cities are not allowed into this megacity, then how can this dream ever be achieved?

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[new2grammar]

Originally Posted by new2grammar

Municipal dreams to make Mumbai, Hong Kong, this wave is hitting my ear drums since years. By the time they would achieve it, Hong Kong would be far better than Mumbai. How would you be able to keep the pace? Why not make Mumbai a Mumbai? Let Hong Kong imitate our model. Why we always look outside for the inspiration, we need to learn to see within us, to create a new world class city. Ah! How would you go about it, the air in city is ranted with the cry ‘jobs only for the local people’, this divisive politics is spiraling dangerous atmosphere. World class city attracts world class talent, but here fellow citizen of the country from other city is not allowed in this mega city then how would you achieve this dream?

Thanks for your kind help, while writing this article i tried to use different sentences like... this wave is hitting my ear drums since years.
but you had changed it completely, I just need to know is the structure was not correct or grammatically incorrect or it was sounding odd.
Even for line...the air in city is ranted with the cry ‘jobs only for the local people’

Thanks in advance!

[Anglika]

They sounded odd, and actually were not necessarily a good expression of what it seemed to me you intended to say.

There is often a danger of "over-writing". It is much better to keep your writing relatively simple.

[new2grammar]

Originally Posted by Anglika

They sounded odd, and actually were not necessarily a good expression of what it seemed to me you intended to say.

There is often a danger of "over-writing". It is much better to keep your writing relatively simple.

Thanks a lot for your feedback and suggestion, bu just need to know are the above sentences framed grammatically correct?

[Anglika]

Since they sound odd, then no, they are not grammatical.

For example "the air in city is ranted with the cry " has no meaning. It is a misuse of the verb "to rant".

The possibility is that what you wanted to say is "The air in the city is rent with the cry", and even then, "air in the city" is not an entirely suitable phrase.

"The city's atmosphere is rent with the cry of 'jobs for locals only' " is a possible rephrasing.

This is all part of learning to write in a foreign language. Misuse is common, but has to be learned and recognised.