improvement of short passage

[Tan Elaine]

We should treat dogs with (more) respect, especially when/if they are kept as pets. We should take them for walks and give them food meant for dogs, and not leftovers. Given proper food, they will be healthier and less often sick. They will also look better.

1. Is 'more' needed?
2. Should I use 'if' or 'when'?
3. Are there any errors in the passage?

Thanks in advance.

[Bahez]

Not A Teacher - Not A Native Speaker

But :

1- When you say *more* , It means that dogs are respected and they need to be respected more than it is .

2- Better to say *When* cause if you say *if* it doesn't need to use *especially* .

3- It's good . Let others see and then reply .


Hope it'll be useful for you .