well i think you should be more precise in introducing the topic of ur paragraph and consistents in all ur arguments
avoid using vague expressions and unclear sentences:
living their life, doing things use life style instead
what do you mean by small convinent shops?
use the articles correctly: ...is the way they do shopping
i think that you should use simple sentences to make your paragraph readable
it is necessary to make the subject of the paragraph clear to the reader right from the beginning by using a topical sentence that will introduce your passage and let the reader know about the whole paragraph just by reading it for example: nowadays, our shopping habits, consumer's behaviour and life styles have changed greatly. IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SHOPPING IN THE MODERN TIMES
you should then develop your idea and provide consistent arguments
Human beings have been accepting different changes such as living their life and doing things with the change of time and one of the major changes is way they do shopping, internet shopping, Big shopping mall and small convinent stores are different options that today's customers have for shopping. Due to various advantages and benifits of big shopping mall, small stores are disappearing day by day. In further paragraph i am going to analyze the advantage of bigger shopping mall over small shopping store.
I beleive that I can better help u if you tell me the subject you want to discuss
hoping the above will be useful
- For Teachers