Please check my gammer
Please correct my grammar in below sentences.
After the meeting, I have discussed with my superior about the idea for the traceability system, she had rejected the idea. Thus, I would like to call a meeting again at tomorrow morning 9:00 am.
Re: Please check my gammer
I apologize for the length of the suggestions below. Writing business letters can be very tricky!
Originally Posted by WaiWai
Hello everyone, [might be better]
It appears that after a previous meeting with your group, you discussed the idea for a traceability system with your superior and she rejected it. Is that right? If you are in fact dealing with outsiders, "reject" seems rather strong when applied to your superior. Perhaps "did not approve" is better. Add "as it stands" if there is still some hope for approval. After the meeting, I have discussed with my superior about the idea for the traceability system, she had rejected the idea.
After the meeting, I did something.
Since the meeting, I have done something.
Since our meeting, I have discussed [what?] the idea of a traceability system [with whom?] with my superior, but she has not approved it [as it stands].
Thus=In this way. Thus, I would like to call a meeting again at tomorrow morning 9:00 am.
Therefore=As a result. Here 'therefore' appears more likely.
Also try to avoid commas if possible: I would therefore...
Are you calling a meeting or requesting a meeting? If (and only if) your superior is to be present, you may want to "suggest" it, unless everyone at your company can call meetings. If your superior will not present, go ahead and call it. By the way, AM=morning (literally ante meridiem, before noon), so there is no need to say both.
I would therefore like to call/suggest another meeting at 9 am tomorrow.
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