Check the Mistakes in the following essay, plz mention and correct it

In the childhood days I am very passion towards computer, I used to play many games, Paint with the help of the computer. I scored 100 percent in my computer science exam which mainly deals with basics. I thought it’s a magical machine but after matured I came to know it is a machine which contains set of program written by the programmer.

In the higher secondary level I came to know the various parts of the computer, once I saw the mother board it consists of chips, but I don’t know its working in those days, I asked many doubts to my brother and teacher who clearly explained all the parts of the computer. Then I am very much familiar with all the internal parts of the personal computer, it also helps to develop more interest on computer science field.

I like to develop my knowledge more into that field, so I preferred B.E computer science and Engineering from the breadth of Anna University. From the lecture of efficient professor I came to know various internal operations of the computer like program, operating system, etc once I entered in the second year I know the various details of the computer science application. I learned more subjects which includes languages like c, oops concepts, DBMS, OS, Networks, etc., so I am very much clear with the basic concepts of these subjects I like to enhance my knowledge in this particular field by pursuing MSc in Advance Computer Science from your Institution. I believe it will also serve to give direction to my goal of a career as a research professional at an academic or commercial, research-oriented organization.


In my undergraduate studies, I attained information from the breadth of Anna University’s syllabi content that has given me a complete exposure to the heart areas of Computer Science and a strong conceptual understanding of the same. In those four years of study, I strived to maintain an approach of expending independent effort in all my deeds. Learning, putting them to practice and sharing my knowledge with others has been most valuable and takes pleasure in, when comprehending a concept.
Over these years, I expanded the knowledge in all the areas of Programming Concepts in Computer Science. Thereafter, to automate the ideas, I started gaining knowledge in various programming languages like C, C++, JAVA, Visual Programming, J2EE, mobile technologies like J2ME, WAP, WML, backend databases like SQL Server, Oracle and Scripting languages like JavaScript, VBScript, in college. With these, I started computerizing my ideas attained which has leaded me to appreciate the intricacies involved and broach my curiosity to undergo research in this field.

In the third year I develop my self in various fields of computer science and I develop a program which is utilized for practical works, I gained affection from my professor and they motivated a lot, which gives me more passion towards that particular field, By gaining affection and attraction from my staffs and friend I was elected as the president of computer science department and organized International Technical Symposium. I was the coordinator for PARROT club (student’s organization) organizing technical college events, and magazine releases. I won third Prize in Dance competition in IIT Sarang.


For my B.E project, I decided to concentrate on mobile based mapping application based on J2ME Technology. The J2ME application living on the cell phone was used to communicate with the remote systems. Locations are expressed both as graphical and textual descriptions. The project examines the best way to allow real time, read only access, for remote, possibly non-technical users, to an information system. I also done a project PAWS that supports both process design and execution. It supports the aspects of adaptation, coupling design-time and runtime mechanisms in a global environment. An website was created for a an institution where each student and staff were provided a webpage and options available to design their webpage like the background color, upload picture, add templates etc. .I also underwent a 15-day training in BSNL.

My future plan is to develop a new IT Sector in most innovation and advancing concept, this can be obtained by studying the concepts thoroughly which helps to develop my skills in that particular field, this can be obtained from post graduation and it is worth by doing Msc in Advance Computer science from your institution.
one of the most important lessons I learned, being the President of the Technical symposium and head of the magazine releases during my under graduation. It taught me that the basis for success is self-confidence, self-reliance, and very importantly smart work. I learned to accept both criticism and appreciation with a positive frame of mind. My work involved developing portraits and organizing various design events that gave the opportunity to work and interact with persons in various walks of life. This was a distinctively gratifying experience for me, which I feel would stand in good stead in the future.
In conclusion, I would like to add that the essence of University education lies in the synergetic relationship between the student and his department. I feel that graduate study at your University will be the most logical extension of my academic pursuits and a major step towards achieving my objectives. I would be grateful to you if I’m accorded the opportunity to pursue my graduate studies with financial assistance at your institution.

Say:

When I was a child I was very passionate about computers.
a set of programs

Thanks for making paragraphs. (You only forgot to space between paragraphs one time.)


:-)

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In the third year I develop my self in various fields of computer science and I develop a program which is utilized for practical works, I gained affection from my professor and they motivated a lot, which gives me more passion towards that particular field, By gaining affection and attraction from my staffs and friend I was elected as the president of computer science department....... Locations are expressed both as graphical and textual descriptions. The project examines the best way to allow real time, read only access, for remote, possibly non-technical users, to an information system.
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NOT-A-TEACHER:
well, to my limited knowledge, the tense of the first few sentence in the above paragraph is present, then it suddenly shifts to the past. I thik the past tense is more in accord with the rest of the essay. The same problem applies to later in the essay, when talking about a project in the past, the tense shifts to the present tense.

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I also done a project PAWS that supports both process design and execution. ....one of the most important lessons I learned, being the President of the Technical symposium and head of the magazine releases during my under graduation.

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I have also done...

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Originally Posted by sanjushob

In the higher secondary level I came to know the various parts of the computer,

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When I was in high school I learned what the parts of a computer are. I learned how computers are put together.

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Originally Posted by sanjushob

once I saw the mother board it consists of chips, but I don’t know its working in those days,

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I learned that the motherboard consists of chips, but I still didn't know how it works.

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Originally Posted by sanjushob

I asked many doubts to my brother and teacher who clearly explained all the parts of the computer.

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I asked my brother many questions. He explained the workings of computers to me.

:-)

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Originally Posted by RonBee

When I was in high school I learned what the parts of a computer are. I learned how computers are put together.

I learned that the motherboard consists of chips, but I still didn't know how it works.

I asked my brother many questions. He explained the workings of computers to me.

:-)

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When I was in high school (COMMA) I learned what the parts of a computer are.

When I was in high school I learned punctuation.

:-)

;-)