please correct my letter and please give a score to my letter

[rezashena]

Dear sir,


I am writing to complain about plans to enlarge MehranAirport the local one. My name is Jack Anderson. I leave just next to the airport.

in fact, we have several problems concerning this matter. Firstly, The noise will increase, and it is almost intolerable now. In addition, during the taking off or landing airplanes, our windows often vibrate. In addition to, the parking lot of the airport has not enough space so that many people parked their cars in front of the my neighbor s houses, and they often make so much traffic too. We already wrote a letter last year, but we have not received any responses yet. In spite of that I heard that the city manager devise a scheme for developing the airport.

As a matter of fact, we can not go with the manager to this matter, and if so our problems will extend. Above all, we realized that the mayor wants cut the trees around the airport and destroy the local park in order to develop the airport. I feel something should be done about that.

Please give this matter your immediate attention.



Yours truly,


Jack Anderson

[inbochum]

Hey, I would like to make a try but i am no native speaker of English

Originally Posted by rezashena

Dear Sirs,


I am writing to complain about plans to enlarge the local section of MehranAirport. My name is Jack Anderson and I live just near the airport.

In fact, we have several problems concerning this matter. First, the noise will increase, and it already is almost intolerable now. In addition, during the taking off or landing of airplanes, our windows often vibrate. Furthermore, the parking lot of the airport has not enough space so that many people park__ their cars in front of the my neighbours' houses, and they often cause a lot of traffic too. We already wrote a letter last year, but we have not received any responses yet. In spite of that I heard that the city manager (city council?) devised a scheme for extending the airport.

As a matter of fact, we can not go with the manager to this matter, and therefore (or: if we do so?) our problems will increase. Above all, we realized that the mayor wants to cut the trees around the airport and destroy the local park in order to develop the airport. I feel something should be done about that.

Please give this matter your immediate attention.



Yours truly,


Jack Anderson

I hope this will help a bit.

[Charlie Bernstein]

Originally Posted by rezashena

Dear Person:


I am writing to complain about plans to enlarge Mehran[space] Airport, the local one. xxxx I live next to it.

We have several problems xxx. First, The noise will increase, and it is almost intolerable now. In addition, during take-offs and landings, our windows often vibrate. In addition xxx, the parking lot does not have enough space, so many people park their cars in front of xxx my neighbors' houses, and they often make too much traffic, too. We already wrote a letter last year, but we have not received any responses yet. In spite of that, I heard that the city manager has devised a scheme for developing the airport further.

We can not go with the manager with this matter, so our problems will continue. Finally, we have learned that the mayor wants to cut the trees around the airport and destroy the local park in order to develop the airport. I feel something should be done about that.

Please give this matter your immediate attention.



Yours truly,


Jack Anderson

Not bad. Just needed a little sprucing up!

In American English, it's considered bad manners to assume that the stranger you're writing to is a man. So "Dear Sir" should be replaced with a name, a title, or the name of the organization, agency, or company you're writing to

- Dear Mr. Paris:
- Dear Minister of Transportation:
- Dear Department of Aviation:

Lacking any of those, something like "Dear Person" or "To whom it may concern" is preferred.