Air transport

Dear Sir,
I will take the IELTS text a few days later. I worte an artile yesterday.Can you amend it for me thoroughly.
Yours Sincerely
SunnyLiu


Topic: Air transport is increasingly used to export types of fruits and vegetables to countries where those plants can’t grow or out of season. Some say it is a good thing, but others consider this use of air transport can’t be justified. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


Article:

An advanced technology, airplane, has for years been used to transport and export food. Some confirm that it is a waste of money and this use of transport should not be encouraged. I don not agree with these critics because I believe that this type of transport make it very convenient for food trading.



To begin with, the using of planes for export increases profits for both consumers and enterprises. Highly developed functions of preservation, as well as large storage capacity and speedy comprehensive service make it easy to keep fruits and vegetables fresh and nutritious. Hence, people can enjoy the fresh food similar to residents who do in the growing pales. As a result, it stimulates the consumption and boosts purchasing. Obviously, airplanes are the best choice for businessmen to trade among countries.



Furthermore, air transport promotes trade contacts among countries, which accelerates the globalization. In fact, trade with airplanes is an effective and convenient process, by which both individuals and groups can obtain what they need and want through exchanging products and business negotiation. By doing this, people can enjoy variety of favorable food from different countries instead of being confined to a certain period and a fixed place. Accordingly, it improves the flow of trade, which is of great importance to the development of global economy.



In conclusion, only by doing this, can enterprises input suit maximization of profits through trading process with other countries. It also enhances the trade contacts among countries. It is high time for both politicians and businessmen paid more attention to the advanced way to transport.

[Mister Micawber]

Sunny, you did not "Discuss both views" adequately:


Article:

An advanced technology, the airplane, has for years been used to import and export food. Some confirm that it is a waste of money and this use of transport should not be encouraged. However, I believe that this type of transport makes the commercial food trade very convenient.

To begin with, the use of airplanes for export increases savings for consumers and profits for enterprises. Modern methods of preservation, as well as large storage capacity and speedy comprehensive service, make it easy to keep fruits and vegetables fresh and nutritious. Hence, people can enjoy fresh food just as do residents who live in the growing areas. This stimulates consumption and boosts purchasing. Obviously, airplanes are the best choice for producers to trade among countries.

Furthermore, air transport promotes trade contacts among countries, which accelerates globalization. In fact, trade by air is an effective and convenient process for product exchange and business negotiation. By doing this, people can enjoy a variety of desirable foods from different countries instead of being confined to certain seasons and crops. Accordingly, the flow of trade is improved, which is of great importance in the development of the global economy.

In conclusion, by doing this, enterprise can ensure maximization of profits through the trading process with other countries. It also enhances the trade contacts among countries. It is high time for both politicians and businessmen to pay more attention to advanced methods of transport.