Pl. Check my Bank Letter

[dhara]

Dear Teacher

Pl. check my below bank letter and give me good adivce for imoproving my english grammer

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Sub : Deposited cheque not credit in my account

Dear Sir,

I have saving account number 201xxxxxxx1505 with your branch.

I would like to state that, I have deposited cheque for Rs.30,000/- on dt.20/03/2009 bearing cheque no.059622 of The Dhanlaxmi Bank Ltd., Desom Branch, Aluva, Ernakulam-683103. However, it has been not credit in my saving account until the date. I want to clarifications about this matter within two day otherwise we would to request you the amount will be credit in my account.

I also would like to bring it to your notice that I was deposited same bank & branch cheque on dt.30/03/2009 and it was credit on dt.06/04/2009 in my account.

Your kind cooperation in this regards will be highly appreciated.
-------------------- End of letter ------------------

Regards
Dhara

[sarat_106]

Here is the corrected text:

Sub : Deposited cheque not credited to (in) my account

Dear Sir,

I have a saving account having number 201xxxxxxx1505 with your branch.

I would like to state that, I have deposited a cheque bearing (cheque) no.059622 of The Dhanlaxmi Bank Ltd., Desom Branch, Aluva, Ernakulam-683103, for Rs.30,000/- on dt.20/03/2009. However, to my utter surprise, it has not been credited to (in ) my saving account till (until the) this date/ today. I seek your immediate intervention (want to clarifications) into (about) this matter and (otherwise we) would (to) request you to credit the amount (will be in) to my within two days


In this connection Imay (also would) like to bring it to your notice that I had (was) deposited a cheque of the same bank & branch on dt.30/03/2009 and it was credited on dt.06/04/2009 into my account.

Hence your kind cooperation in this matter (regards) will be highly appreciated.

Delete words in the brackets.

The text will appear as follows after deletion of the words.


Sub : Deposited cheque not credited to (in) my account

Dear Sir.

I have a saving account having number 201xxxxxxx1505 with your branch.

I would like to state that, I have deposited a cheque bearing no.059622 of The Dhanlaxmi Bank Ltd., Desom Branch, Aluva, Ernakulam-683103, for Rs.30,000/- on dt.20/03/2009. However, to my utter surprise, it has not been credited to my saving account till this date/ today. I seek your immediate intervention into this matter and would request you to credit the amount to my within two days


In this connection I may like to bring it to your notice that I had deposited a cheque of the same bank & branch on dt.30/03/2009 and it was credited on dt.06/04/2009 into my account.

Hence your kind cooperation in this matter will be highly appreciated.

Yours faithfully