Application for Internship

[QueenCupcake]

Please help. I am not a native English speaker and always have trouble when writing formal documents. Thank you-

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As a UCSF Medical Center volunteer I compile new admit packets, assist the unit secretary with basic administrative work, clerical duties, and answer call lights. Volunteering in a hospital has influenced my decision on being a Pre-Med student. Moreover, being an intern at a biotech company allows me to work alongside highly skilled scientists who build disease models for oncology, cardiovascular, inflammation and metabolic diseases. Interning at -----, Inc. I conducted media changes and counted cells as well as eliminated the risk of cell contamination. My internship at -------, Inc. enhanced my prospective as a student researcher and helped me understand medicine on a molecular level.
While I enjoy volunteering and interning I consider tutoring children in the Latino community to be the most rewarding. I have tutored at ------. As an active member of my community I help children with their history and science courses. Tutoring children in the Latino community allows me to engage with their parents and reiterate the importance of higher education.



As a volunteer at a hospital I understand the importance of giving back to my community. During my experience as a volunteer at UCSF Medical Center I realize that volunteering my time to patients is something I will to continue throughout my undergraduate career. In 2015 I will continue volunteering, tutoring and attending community events. In five years I will have traveled to Asia and South America along with returned to a once visited country, Iceland. Academically, I will have commissioned as a Second Lieutenant and earned a bachelor degree with successful completion of a MCAT prep course.
In the year 2020 I will attend my first solo exhibition reception in San Francisco, California. Aside from my passion for medicine---painting is a therapeutic hobby of mine that I am fortunate to excel in. As an active officer of the military in 2020 I will be enjoying my time back home in the Bay Area. In ten years from now I will still be an artist and a hardworking student in a residency program at a hospital overseas.
Thereafter at the age of 38 in the year 2025 I will be a practicing cardiothoracic surgeon in the US Military. I will own a gallery and rent the space to up and coming artists from all over the world. Conclusively, I am now taking the next step in life to challenge myself in illustrating my passion through knowledge. I am reminded that knowledge is never selfish and should be used to help those in need. Lastly, with the assistance various degrees, internships, fellowships and work experience from military and civilian life I will have reached my ultimate dream---happiness.

[luschen]

I am not an English teacher, but I will look through it and correct any obvious errors. It looks good, but the last paragraph could use some work - the last paragraph is always hard for me too, but it is important to give a good final impression

Please help. I am not a native English speaker and always have trouble when writing formal documents. Thank you-

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As a UCSF Medical Center volunteer I compile new admit packets, assist the unit secretary with basic administrative work, [perform] clerical duties, and answer call lights. Volunteering in a hospital has influenced my decision on being[to be] a Pre-Med student. Moreover, being an intern at a biotech company allows me to work alongside highly skilled scientists who build disease models for oncology, cardiovascular [disease], inflammation and metabolic diseases. Interning at -----, Inc. I conducted media changes and counted cells as well as eliminated the risk of cell contamination. My internship at -------, Inc. enhanced my prospective[perspective] as a student researcher and helped me understand medicine on a molecular level.
While I enjoy volunteering and interning I consider tutoring children in the Latino community to be the[my] most rewarding [activity]. I have tutored at ------. As an active member of my community[,] I help children with their history and science courses. Tutoring children in the Latino community allows me to engage with their parents and reiterate the importance of higher education.



As a volunteer at a hospital I understand the importance of giving back to my community. During my experience as a volunteer at UCSF Medical Center I realize[have realized] that volunteering my time to patients is something I will to continue throughout my undergraduate career. In 2015 I will continue volunteering, tutoring and attending community events. In five years I will have traveled to Asia and South America along with returned to a once visited country, Iceland[as well as returning to Iceland, a country I have visited before]. Academically, I will have commissioned as a Second Lieutenant and earned a bachelor degree with [the] successful completion of a MCAT prep course.
In the year 2020 I will attend my first solo exhibition reception in San Francisco, California. Aside from my passion for medicine---painting is a therapeutic hobby of mine that I am fortunate to excel in. As an active officer of the military in 2020 I will be enjoying my time back home in the Bay Area. In ten years from now I will still be an artist and a hardworking student in a residency program at a hospital overseas.
Thereafter at the age of 38 in the year 2025 I will be a practicing cardiothoracic surgeon in the US Military. I will own a gallery and rent the space to up and coming artists from all over the world. Conclusively[In conclusion], I am now taking the next step in life to challenge myself in illustrating my passion through knowledge[this sentence is unclear - do you have a passion about knowledge?]. I am reminded that knowledge is never selfish and should be used to help those in need. Lastly[Finallly], with the assistance [of]various degrees, internships, fellowships and work experience from military and civilian life I will have reached my ultimate dream---happiness.