please would you proof read it.?
As crimson began to put the reaped wheat in the shelter with his elder brother jack giving him hand and his father drinking a cup of chamomile tea and supervising them from the window of crimson’s room on second floor of his beautiful farm, the heavy grey clouds began to gather on the entire sky.
“Ah, this is the type of weather I want whole winter.”
“I say, it’s drizzling, we should better get indoors before the rain starts.”
“Oh yeah just the last bunch to go” he grabbed the last bunch of reaped wheat with the help of his brother and threw it into the igloo shaped shelter room.
They went indoors and to their surprise, mom and dad were going to town to do a bit of shopping before winter or they would starve.
Just when crimson was about to ask her mom about the breakfast, she shouted
I have put your and jack’s breakfast in the microwave. Then she locked the door and went to countryside with his husband and oh yes with umbrella too because by that time it was raining, heavily raining.
Ah, it is heavenly morning with lots of hours to waste. What a wonderful holiday to go with.
Now the first thing to do was to go to washroom. After 15 minutes, he came out with a completely different face and went to the microwave for the breakfast. He went to the table and find out his brother finishing the breakfast with apple. The tray in his hand consists of two club sandwiches, one big red juicy apple, and a cup of tea. He was just about to hold the cup of tea when his brother exclaimed
“Did I tell you that I am going away in this week?”
“Because I have got my dirty hands on a beautiful job and they are paying me 100 dollar per month.”
“Oh yes I have told them about it and they it’s quite a good job”
“Now no argument on this topic I have got to pack my bag and I can’t bear you all talking this subject.”
“Okay now if I am going to pack my bag what are you going to do?”
“Play computer, perhaps”
“Fine” he said and stood up from the chair and went to his room up-stairs for packing his suitcase.
Finishing his breakfast, he too rolled up stairs to his own room for playing computer. For 4 or 5 hours, he continuously played the computer when he smelt some burning in his own room.
“Something was burning…but what was it.” He thought to himself and then he discovered something strange… that it was his pc burning itself and by now, the L.C.D was flickering and then BANG the screen exploded into pieces. Oh, shit now what I am going to do. He thought and had an idea. He ran to his brother’s room and said; “oh boy jack, the computer’s blown itself come and look.”
“Me busy, go see it yourself.” Said jack and begin sorting things he is going to take and leave.
Crimson went back to his room hopelessly and then as he stepped into his room. The room was flooded with different colours of light and then faded. Crimson was surprised to see that the source of light was his computer.
He went nearer to the computer and felt his legs shaking and trembling because of the excitement. He was just about to open the CPU to examine the problem when the tube light of his room began to flicker, adding one more point to the horror and excitement. Crimson finally opened the CPU and found letter lying on the bracket of hard disk. He was just about to open the envelope when he read the boldly written letters.
“Don’t open till midnight.”
He stared the letter but felt that it was unsecure to open. “Better leave it that way,” he said to himself. However, he did not put it inside the CPU but instead he hid it in his cupboard’s most secure place. To forget all about this, he went to his brother’s room to give him hand in packing.
After an hour, mom and dad were at home and there was going to be a celebration for the brother’s new career. The celebration lasted for 3 hours with the jasmine tea at the end of the dinner. They were so tired that they decided to sleep in the TV room. Soon all the mattresses were laying in a semi-circle order with father in the middle, mother before him, crimson next to father and jack at the end.
Crimson told his father about the burning of the computer and father did not even scold him. Not even a little bit. Instead he said “throw it into garbage; we will buy a new one if you want.” “No, I don’t want any. I am happy without it.” Were the only words crimson managed to speak because he was filled with shame for not being scolded instead of being happy. (I would have done the same if I were there)
All was okay, yes all, but not when it was going to be tonight’s midnight or tomorrows.
Everyone was surprised by the decision of dad ‘telling a story’ as he said that it was going to help them in future.
As the lightening crackled and made a terrible noise, they began to settle on their comfortable mattresses.
“I am going to tell you a story which my grand ma called an ancient tale. he began and told them the life of Hegamont how Hegamont began his career, turned evil, became dragon rider, got his dragon killed by the forces of king drake Jordan, founded the golden book, how he got his army named moon eater (the main purpose of moon eaters is to finish the light), took his revenge, and finally became a cruel king, and told them how the dark was rising.
Then he told them what Jordan did, how he escaped, how he got betrayed, how he found the planet ‘meltoss’, how they found out a prophecy and what it said, and how terribly they are waiting for the boy.
He was about to tell more but the mother interrupted saying; enough, I want to rest. So they slept dreaming the story as first person. Maybe they were fighting with Hegamont and his moon eaters with axes and arrows.
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